Inurnment
Don’t let the dignified patina
Lent by old age fool you—
Dead is dead, decay, decay:
One day it too will rule you;
Just because it may look pretty
On an object in decline
Doesn’t mean I’ll like the gritty
Feel of dust when it is mine!
I never thought to see so soon
My death, when I am scarce past noon,
Yet though it seems a little odd,
I find me snoozing in the sod.
Gone But Not Forgotten
Lily Rivington has gone
And found eternal respite;
We don’t begrudge it, for we too
Gain peace and lose a despot.
Do not speak ill of those who’ve died,
We’re told, whate’er is said,
So let us kindly leave it that
We thank her that she’s dead.
Yes, Rest in Peace, Miss Rivington,
Enjoy eternal slumber;
At last you did do one good deed:
You left our earthly number.
Wish You were Here
I am having so much fun
It doesn’t seem quite fair
That I’m relaxing underground
And you are stuck
Up there.
Art-Colored Glasses 
I know this may sound weird but i love graveyards, though i have never found a “wish you were here message”.. c
Not weird at all. I love cemeteries too, and know many others who do. So much history, so much beauty, so many stories. I guess I feel at home among the dead just as much as among the living in *that* way. So am *I* weird? 🙂
Lovely post. It has set me thinking about what I would like to see chiseled on my own tombstone – perhaps I need to mull that over for a few hours. Hope I live to tell the tale!
Haha, yes indeed. I have tons of inscriptions ready (almost none of them, admittedly, serious), but don’t expect to have a headstone; how’s that for silly! But as for me, I’m hoping to be cremated and my ashes scattered in some nice place where I can become good fertilizer. Specifically, *after* I die. 😉 Much as I love cemeteries as a visitor, I don’t necessarily find them to be the most practical way to dispose of human leftovers. I’d be delighted with spending the land on nice, cemetery-like parks, of course! Just my take. 🙂
Ok, I want ‘Wish You Were Here’ on my tombstone…
I EXPECT there to be giggling at my funeral.
In fact, I may demand it…
I’ll make a giggling pact with you. :D))))
“Here lies the body of Poor Les Moore —
No Les, no Moore”
In this case, Les *is* Moore! Say, was he buried next to Mies van der Rohe?
“…when I die, bury me upside down, so when my poor relatives come to visit, they will have a place to park their bicycles ” — Lou Costello
I’ll never look at a bike rack the same again! 😉
And what will the best solution will be in my case? Where will the paparazzi park their buses? Guess I’d better be buried in the middle of a stadium parking lot.
Loved the turn in the last verses. 🙂
Well, you know from my enjoyment of your Haiku zingers that I do love an unexpected twist in the tale. 🙂
I have some beautiful graveyard pictures but none with witty tombstones. Must visit more cemeteries.
I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever gotten to see any of those famous funny-bones myself. I hear of them but never seem to find them, more’s the pity. That’s the joy of Photoshop: now I just take photos of the *backs* of pretty tombstones (‘Wish’) or digitally remove the text from the front (‘Surprise’) and superimpose whatever nonsense *I* think would be fun there.
This time of year is a bleak time for me, so a bit of gallows humor is just right. Great post, Kathryn.
Always good if a little twisted silliness can brighten up the dark days! And in case that’s not quite enough, I send some hugs to you too. 🙂
Creepy with a sense of humour
Or possibly, silly with a slight chance of scariness . . . 😉
As I said, I just never know what to expect when I come here. Yes, dear Lady, you got me again! And that Miss Rivington must’ve been really something, eh?
I never gave her a particular back-story, but I think she *might* have been at least a distant relative of a couple of people I’ve known . . . you know how those references tend to sneak into one’s subconscious! 😉
I told you I was sick
Tombstones: no better venue for the classic I-told-you-so! They really DO get the last word.
Miss Rivington must have been your unappreciative 11th grade literature teacher. Mine’s name was Miss Crumpler, used to wear a hat with the price tag hanging off it in church, just like Minnie Pearl of the Grand Ole Opry, only she wasn’t sweet & funny like Minnie Pearl…
“Unappreciative”–what an excellent euphemism!! Mine was actually all the way back in third grade; apparently she felt the need to nip any potential happiness in the bud earlier just to be on the safe side. 😉 Miss Crumpler in her Minnie-Pearl-minus-the-sweetness-and-light-hat, oh boy, I’m picturing her now! Too bad there are so *many* Miss Rivington imitators in the world, eh!
Only because of circumstances have I come to “like” cemeteries. Mostly the military ones; beautiful, peaceful and sad all at once. The really really old ones like those I visited in New Orleans are just amazing to visit.
Yes, my friend, you have *way* too much personal experience of cemeteries on their ‘active’ side. I’m so sorry for that. It says a lot about you and your resilience that you have been able to retain a sense of the good in cemeteries despite or because of it. I guess I find in a rather weird way that visiting the graves of people I *know and love* actually helps me put some distance between myself and the intensity of the losses rather than the opposite. And as for visiting cemeteries themselves (rather than specific people commemorated in them), I do love those spectacular and unique ones. So far I’ve only gotten to have a quick trip *past* some of those NOLA beauties, but they’re on my ‘must visit’ list for someday.