Most of us are taught from when we’re very small to avoid all contact with strangers. Don’t look them in the eye; don’t make friendly overtures, don’t speak to them, and don’t go running up and hugging random unknown characters. Above all, don’t accept the offer of candy or other lures from those who might turn out to be very lurid indeed.
All of that is mighty wise advice for little persons. They have no experience of the world, no basis for comparison or judgement, and no inner criteria to help them have a good chance of accurately assessing the situation. But when are we Big enough to learn that unfamiliar people are not only not all bad and dangerous but possibly in great need of any gracious and friendly contact they can possibly be given? When are we smart and experienced enough to realize that others around us are not always up to something nefarious or trying to sell us something we neither want nor need if they approach us out of the blue? When are we large-hearted enough to make a more hospitable evaluation of the risks or rewards in approaching the unknown with openness and warmth?
I have been told several stories recently that remind me of the opportunities that constantly surround us for making moves, both large and small, that have the potential to do anything from brightening someone else’s day to saving a life. Most of us fortunates have at some time and place in our lives ‘entertained angels unawares’–had a few of those moments of unexpected, extraordinary, beautiful contact with persons we didn’t know and understand that there are such agents in the world, even if we can’t immediately recognize them. Why not look for places where we can be those agents for no reason other than that we know from experience how powerful and life-changing, healing or hope-renewing, or just plain day-brightening such moments can be.
It is possible to be misinterpreted or rebuffed, true. But the vast majority of times that I’ve seen this sort of subversive joy-sharing happen without any ulterior motives, even if the recipient–sometimes me–is not altogether receptive at the outset, the end result is an astonished recognition that life is rather wonderful, that people, on the whole, are good and genuine and caring and fine, and that we have in our own small hands and hearts the astounding power of remaking ourselves and the world into better things by the simplest and least extravagant of means. A hug, a moment of patience where there has been tension. A donated dime or a pint of blood. A proffered packet of food or bottle of water that had been meant for something or someone else. Handing off the little trinket that was mine but that I can see another one admires or opening the box of treats I was saving for the family and sharing it instead with someone I don’t even know. Opening doors and assisting with chairs and lifting the parcel that’s too heavy for someone else.
They may seem tiny and insignificant enough. For those of us who choose to give them, they amount to easily made gestures. But insignificant? Hardly. For those of us who dared not, who may not have even known we could, ask–this one little mark someone offered to make on our day may mean, after it all, the whole world.
Art-Colored Glasses 
My daughter used to be terrified of people in general, especially strangers. So from the time she could said, “Who’s that?” my response has been “That’s a friend we haven’t met, yet.” She doesn’t approach strangers unless there is a trusted grown-up nearby, but it is such a gift to watch her smile kindly, shake hands, share a smile. It’s great that you found it 🙂
I love your approach. Your note reminds me of when my (now 22-year-old) niece was a toddler and visiting her new baby brother and Mama in the hospital and my grandparents saw her out in the hall approaching another small child on her drunkenly unsteady legs. She looked kind of like she was sailing over to whack said stranger, as small children have been known to do, when suddenly she stopped, stuck out her hand and said (in her best imitation of a grownup) to her fellow shrimp, ‘How do you do!’ They learn attitudes SO quickly! 🙂
So much truth here. And think how many times we stop ourselves from making the gesture, tending to the need?
About two weeks ago, I managed not to get in my own way. A photographer I know only through the internet had taken a picture of a couple at an event in the midwest. It was a beautiful portrait – their expressions were spontaneous, open, receptive. She happened to be the postmaster in the small town, so a couple of days after I saw the photo, I looked up the number and called.
When I told her I’d seen the photo and just was calling to tell her how beautiful I thought it was, she said,”Oh, my goodness! You just don’t know what you’ve done! I was ready to burn that dress. I thought it made me look fat – I thought the photo was awful!” No, I said, it’s wonderful, and you need to wear that dress once a week because it fits you so well.
And then, after a few more words, we hung up. She doesn’t know my name, and I don’t know hers. But out of the blue, someone told her she was beautiful. What could be better?
What a lovely, lovely story. As it perfectly illustrates, open-heartedness tends to bless giver as well as recipient. Hugs to you!
xoxo
“Why not look for places where we can be those agents for no reason other than that we know from experience how powerful and life-changing, healing or hope-renewing, or just plain day-brightening such moments can be.” Yes, indeed, why not? I love how you “saw” this Kathryn – giving candy to strangers. It seems to me that ALL of life, each and every moment, is an opportunity to bless, or to receive one of the myriad blessings. And ALL of Life is to be grateful, for one or the other. Thank you Kathryn for the clarity of your sight and the goodness of your heart to share. xx
My dearest Antoinette, it’s one of the many reasons I love coming to your blog–it’s so filled with precisely this sort of hospitality, love, warmth and generosity of spirit, and I learn from it every time.
xoxo
‘Most of us fortunates have at some time and place in our lives ‘entertained angels unawares’–had a few of those moments of unexpected, extraordinary, beautiful contact with persons we didn’t know and understand that there are such agents in the world, even if we can’t immediately recognize them.’ Beautiful thoughts, Kathryn, reminding one that every thought, every word, every touch, every breath is affecting, whether noticeably of not, and so should be used wisely and compassionately, and certainly reach out beyond our own fears and insecurities and whatever else might made us more expectant of the bad than good in the world. This is one of my favorite posts of yours and I would like to reblog this, if that’s ok with you.
Thank you, dear Diane, I would be honored to have you reblog this. I’m so excited to get your book and get reading!
xoxo
Thank you, Kathryn. I will reblog it early next week. Hope you enjoy the novel–as a person involved with music and the arts I will be very interested in your experience with it. I love writing about music, mostly from a spectator viewpoint, and hope I have done a decent job of it as well as offering an engaging story. Diane XO
Atmosphere at Whole Foods Mkt. vs. most other conventional grocery stores…
Righto!
Reblogged this on bardessdmdenton – prose, poetry and painting and commented:
‘Most of us fortunates have at some time and place in our lives ‘entertained angels unawares’–had a few of those moments of unexpected, extraordinary, beautiful contact with persons we didn’t know and understand that there are such agents in the world, even if we can’t immediately recognize them.’ Beautiful thoughts, from Kathryn, reminding one that every thought, every word, every touch, every breath is affecting, whether noticeably or not, and so should be used wisely and compassionately, and certainly reach out beyond our own fears and insecurities and whatever else might made us more expectant of the bad than good in the world. (By the way, Kathryn has a beautiful blog of reflections and artwork that represent her very eclectic interests and passions!)
You are so sweet.
I’m shouting a joyful AMEN to this, as I fully subscribe to being mindful of “angels unaware”, and being gracious to entertain them (using due caution in the world we live in, of course). I’m here today, courtesy of Diane Denton–when she puts her stamp of approval on something, I perk up!! Blessings from “God’s Country”–the north Seattle area!
Thank you for being here, Caddo! An angel visitation from, as you say, God’s Country. 🙂 My husband grew up in Shoreline and I was born in Skyway (Seattle) and grew up in Puyallup. What a great area!