I’m never quite satisfied that I’m getting as much done as I want to do, doing it as well as I wish, improving at the rate I think I ought to manage. I’m hardly a perfectionist, nor am I particularly obsessive (at least about things that I think truly matter)–I’d guess I’m just a fairly typical person who thinks I’m always running just a bit behind the pace and always crossing things too slowly off the To Do lists. But I don’t think that’s grounds for quitting or even for not trying at all.
It just requires that I take a step back and regroup–reassess my priorities–once in a while. Hence my recurrent list-making and all of those times spent sitting and, to all outward appearances, staring off into space, when what I’m really doing is having a long hard look at what’s in front of me that I’d forgotten how to see, or what’s inside that’s not quite getting its message heard clearly enough anymore.
For one thing, my time-management method, if any, is often the old familiar one of doing what appears right in front of me, often leading to that state I’ve mentioned many a time wherein I set out to do one task, get diverted from it partway through by something else that catches my attention, veer off from that toward another thing that drew my eye, and so on ad infinitum but rarely ad finitum. That’s hardly the end of the world, because of course the short and simple tasks that pop up midway do get taken to completion and crossed off the list, and eventually the original plan will recapture my attention. It’s just wonderfully inefficient and sometimes I prefer to reevaluate whether those bigger tasks aren’t better broken down into groups of manageable smaller ones, ones that might perhaps get finished if stumbled upon tangentially in this habitual way.
All of this is a rather sidelong way itself of saying that I haven’t reestablished my drawing habit as firmly and regularly as I’d like, so I’m revisiting my intention to create a specific schedule or plan that encourages me to focus better on drawing, even a little bit, more often again. I know that I will do this; I can do it and have done so before. But I must choose to do it, and how, and that’s the agenda of the day. Other things (like, oh, blogging, f’rinstance) have stolen my attention and intentions away from drawing, and I would like to rebalance my doings a bit.
Needless to say, this has led to a fairly large overhaul of my household Fix-it lists, because I always prefer that there be at least the possibility of my getting those things done that will keep a solid roof over our heads and a comfortable living environment in which to do things like drawing and blogging surrounding us. That list is as big as always, full of everything from essential repairs to the rearrangement of rooms to better reflect and accommodate how we actually use them, to long-range and perhaps highly fantastical proposals for things I might attempt to build, create or accomplish sometime down my long and wayward path of homemaking.
But there is also this quick-fix remembrance that what I always advocated to my students had better be usable advice for me: To begin drawing again, make a mark. Waiting around for the Inspiration Fairy to appear and bonk me with a magic wand of fully fledged ideas and a baptism of heartwarming motivation makes for delightful internal pictorials, but not an iota of drawing to show for it. The best cure for a staring, empty piece of paper is A Mark. Directionless and indecipherable as any random thing, it may well be, but it’s amazing how very brief the time usually is between seeing a dark scratch on an otherwise pristine piece of paper and my hyperactive editorial mind kicking into gear and critiquing that mark as something that ought to have purpose and attempting to decipher what that purpose is, steering my hand to further scribbling or erasure, and either way, toward something specific and concrete, even if entirely abstract and nonobjective. That’s what’s going to happen, for starters. Where it goes from there, I’ll have to report back to you when it begins.
Art-Colored Glasses 
Making a mark this sounds like good advice.
And I shall take it even tonight whilst I listen in on another choir rehearsal! š
And what a pretty mark.. I find it amazing that you can “just like that” make a few lines become pretty shears with gorgeous spring tulips. It’s hard to find balance and time to do everything we love, isn’t it? xoxo Smidge
Given the immensity of your scheduled activities, let alone all of those things that I know always slip in on any of us, I think no one can better sympathize with that brevity of time than you, my dear Smidge! š
I like that idea of making a mark on paper and going from there. Reminds me of something we did in kindergarten. We’d be given pieces of paper with a random line or squiggle on it, and we’d have to create something from that. It really worked the imagination.
As usual, those things we learned in kindergarten tend to hold true in the long run too! You remind me of a former (college) student of mine who keeps in contact and has begun posting some of his favorite crayon drawings from recent times, as I always tried to *reintroduce* those childhood favorites in my classes and remind students that what gave us joy in youth can still be useful and pleasurable, even when we may think we’ve outgrown them through years or sophistication. I may just have to do a squiggle-inspired drawing tonight!! Thank you, Dienna! š
Please, Kathryn, leave your mark on a number of sheets of paper. Yes, I know it’s selfish of me to ask but I sure would love to see the results. š
I’ll get a move on, my friend. š
We seem to be similar in list-making, crossing off items, and doing what suddenly appears in front of us. The latter sometimes results in my putting down something I was doing in a most unusual spot. The result is that I have the dickens of a time trying to find that object. Do you ever write down something on your to-do list that you’ve already done so that you can have the pleasure of crossing it out? š
OH YES I DO! Might as well get credit for a job well done, even if only from myself, eh! š
You probably saw my post about Mor (my brother-in-law’s mother), who after having to put her sewing project aside, finally found her jacket shoulder pads in the freezer. Maybe subconsciously she was pre-conditioning them to help her jacket keep her warm. š
Let me start out by saying that you have beautiful illustrations on this post. Not that that is unusual. I always enjoy your post visuallyā¦ but it goes together with the thoughts expressed. Then, I donāt think of you as a āfairly typical personā at all. So much so, that it makes me wonder why you said it. If drawing is the agenda of the day, the best thing is to start in the morning. First thing. Even if itās a little warm up, to start the day. A quarter of an hour to a half of an hour to start off the day. It might even be worth getting up a half an hour earlier. Make that mark. Donāt wait for inspiration. Inspiration often comes after we start; sometimes when weāre already in the swing of things.
You are so right, of course, and that’s why I’m going with the Make a Mark method for now, lacking any other or more particular direction for my drawing.
As for calling myself typical, I don’t think of that as a negative self-assessment but rather an admission that I tend to believe at least a hint of dissatisfaction with what one is accomplishing is more the norm than otherwise. To be honest, I think *all* individuals are quite extraordinary in one way or another, and the fascination and excitement is in getting to know one well enough to suss out what makes *him* or *her* so special.
I do have lists of things to do. At the moment I’m just doing those things to the house etc that have to be done to stop it falling down, until this unholy GFC sorts itself out. All that can be is left for later. On the other hand writing a poem costs me nothing so I tend to gravitate to that now and again.
Luckily for us! It really *is* a grand thing that making art costs us mainly time and energy and thought, and not money, if we’re a bit creative about it. If the GFC is to take us down, at least we ought to go down in flames of artistic glory! š
I look forward to many more of your drawings and words of inspiration.
And I, to multitudinous informative, inspiring, touching, hilarious and otherwise wise and wonderful posts chez toi!
So, you, too, have a cup full of pencils & brushes but the scissors are out temporarily to rest points down in a sketch…
They just never know how they’ll be called into service, do they? Just best if they are kept handy for *whatever* the need. š
I really need to make that mark as well, Kathryn, and I am so happy that you are going to mark it all up for yourself!
As for time and priorities? What is this time you speak of and priorities? What priorities?!
Ummm, I believe I may have mentioned Ice Cream and Chocolate as high priorities . . . other than that . . . ? š