We never needed to choose. Yet there’s always this foolish compulsion among us to measure attractions and, should we be so lucky, to consider ourselves superior because we successfully assure ourselves that whatever we think the best among the pretties and the old makes us seem more perfect in our own eyes. We’re our own creations in this way, our own versions of excellence, and whether we believe we fit somewhere high in the measure of greatness as beauties or as wise and wonderful elders, we spend an amazing amount of energy on fancying ourselves fantastic.
We expend a large quantity of this fanciful energy, as well, on believing that youth and beauty are irrevocably tied to one another, if not outright synonymous. If one becomes convinced of that construct, then it must follow that becoming old is some sort of process of becoming plainer or uglier or, at greater extremes, less important and worthwhile. As it happens, we are not necessarily all so stupid as I’m making us sound, really. Eventually we mortals do manage to wise up. Perhaps it’s only and logically plain self-preservation that, as we get older, we realize that either we’ve ruled ourselves out of relevance or we might need to adjust our expectations and interpretations to allow that the aged can also be wise or useful or, astonishingly, even beautiful too.
Slow as we are to credit our elders with such attractions and advantages, the eventual realization that we are becoming the elders may motivate us to rethink that equation if nothing else can. It’s not that I look in the mirror and see my proliferating wrinkles and expanding crop of grey hairs as evidence that I’ve suddenly or finally become important, improved, impressive. It’s that I see someone, finally, whose value has nothing particular to do with whether those marks of vintage are present or not. I am free to see myself simply and fully as myself, if I’m willing to look, and from this lesson I should–most meaningfully–learn to offer the same courtesy and impartiality to anyone I see, not only myself but anyone. No matter the years or the appearance or how either conforms to the current tastes, every face I see should seem to me the face of worth and dignity. Who knows but what it might be oftener proved true if we allow it to be so.
Art-Colored Glasses
Original poetry, essays, artworks, photographs & musings on whatever moves me…
Art-Colored Glasses 
I love and hate becoming an elder tho i suspect you and i have a ways to go yet, and there is great merit in seeing past the marks of a vintage… very well put! love love, have a grand saturday evening.. c
As you happen to have *both* inner and outer beauty, you will undoubtedly age well–if you ever get around to such a thing! You are too busy living a very full life to bother with such silliness as getting old. 😀
I very seldom look in a mirror, i find this useful to the process!! cx
Mirrors just take up wall space and require cleaning anyway, so I hear! Who needs that!
I do like the drawings – the top one looks like Barbra Streisand (some time ago).
Hmmm, I didn’t think of that but yes, there is a slight resemblance! 🙂
Did you notice the meter and rhyme in what you wrote?
“…every face I see
should seem to me
the face of worth and dignity.”
Sometimes I trip over something good. 😀 And I can always count on your keen eye to catch it!
Well, since I’ll be one year older very soon, I read this in a timely manner! 🙂 Your post was so meaningful, Kathryn, especially as we live in a society that beauty ties in with perfect bodies, etc. I also loved the line that Steve pointed out…xoxo
Happy birthday to you, dear Lauren: you are beautiful *both* inside and out, and that will never change even as the outside may take on different kinds of beauty over time.
Aww..thanks, Kathryn, I appreciate that! I’m not worried and the exact day isn’t until Monday, so I have time! 🙂 My poem “Timeless” wasn’t written about my insecurities; but it was written because we have been married for a long time and I’m sure similar thoughts have crossed many a mind in the same situation…
I know you are in the same blessed boat that I am and I’m happy for you and “ditto” all you said right back atcha! 🙂