O Pilot, My Pilot!

My momentary flirtation with manning the controls in a flight simulator, besides making me seriously quavery in the moment, told me in no uncertain terms that I would be glad to continue leaving all such labors to the experts. When I was a lot younger I had fantasized about training as a pilot, but reality intervened in good time and I, never mind how humble my brain-power, was able to recognize that I had been saved from myself by a number of factors that conveniently nixed that old fantasy.

The adventures of modern TSA-enhanced travel further confirmed my gratitude that I didn’t opt for life as an air jockey. I’m more content than ever to let airline and airport professionals cope with all of the added red tape and hassles of bulked up security and its concomitant regulations. I am able, despite being far too young to remember it in minute detail, to revere even now the romantic notion of those days when airplane travel was glamorous and cool. And, yes, easy. Though I am better aware now than I was in my infatuated youth that the latter quality is, and always was, more easily achieved by those not in the pilot’s seat.

Those of you who like that work, I thank you. Brother Dennis and all of you fine souls willing to ship me on my various expeditions yon as well as hither, I thank you very much. I’ll just be back there in the thirtieth row with my earplugs screwed in and my pretend aviator scarf pulled over my eyes while I work diligently, with my nice nap, at forgetting I’m even in the air for hours on end. After all, I already put in my enormous effort at flying when I got into that simulator. Your turn now.digital illustration

17 thoughts on “O Pilot, My Pilot!

  1. Great read. I don’t fly unless absolutely necessary now. My father was a mechanic for United. We used to fly b4 passes allowed 1st class to be full of upgraders. We would avoid security by coming in the employee entrance, be the only ones in 1st class and the pilot, during flight I might add, would let us sit on his lap and ‘fly’ the plane. Ah, those were the days. …

    • Indeed! Amazing to think how much has changed, both in the ‘process’ of taking flights anywhere and in the actual mechanics of it. Let alone the mystique!!! Sounds like you are [ahem!] well grounded in what a joy it once was…! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Loved it! In fact, I took a few glider lessons back in my 20’s and realized that I’d rather enjoy the “glamour” of it too by sitting in my seat ordering a vodka-tonic, lol.

    • On my flight-simulator adventure, while I didn’t ‘crash’ the plane on either landing, I blew out the tires both times, and when brother D demonstrated a computer-assisted ‘landing’ in Hong Kong (notorious for its short approach over the water and straight toward the mountain) I could hardly stand it. The sensors detect when the pilot is unable or too slow to pull up when headed directly for the terrain and, giving a scary mechanical-voiced warning, takes control from the pilot and pulls the plane upward itself. Between the amazingly convincing motion simulation of the machine and its spooky alarm voice, that moment was *intense*! I can’t imagine the real thingโ€”thankfully!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ The other ‘landings’ were a breeze and fun by comparison. ๐Ÿ˜€

  3. I love to fly, and have solo’ed in 2 different types of planes. Unfortunately, I am scared stiff every time I landed, so no license for me. I, too, will have to let others transport me through the skies.

    • It probably wouldn’t help you to get coached in ‘landing’ by me, the way I did it in the simulator!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ (See my note to Tandy!) But I am wildly impressed that you *have* flown. Good on you!!!
      PSโ€”If one of the planes you flew *wasn’t* a triple-seven, I don’t personally recommend it for your next solo (review my note to Tandy)! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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