Big Fan

Photo: Big Fan

My favorite mode of transport is another person’s coattails. Being the perpetual tag-along serves a number of functions greatly and simultaneously. First, it dovetails handily with my indolent nature, allowing me to let others do the heavy lifting of thinking, doing, and being important. I don’t have to have anything grand to contribute. Just go along for the ride, don’tcha know.

While I’m not much on generating heatโ€”hot flashes notwithstanding; I’m talking about star power hereโ€”I’m quite happy to catch a little reflected glory before regaining my modest pose of poise and deflecting the shine back where it belongs. Being on the periphery of stardom means I can have a front row seat to see what the greats do with their time and energies without breaking much of a sweat myself. I can admire, and even learn, without the pressure of the present spotlight.

As a naturally introverted and intimidated person, I can enjoy a glimpse into the alternate universe of extroverts and experts without excessive fits of fear. I, in turn, provide the kind of audience that gives these otherworldly beings quiet approbation without judging them for their moments of offstage humanity and humility, giving them room to be ordinary and extraordinary at the same time, as most true artists are.

I’m a big fan of others’ accomplishments, but I’m not much on making a big show out of my admiration, either. Like the old AC unit in the dusty dance hall, I’m glad to keep making the talented two-steppers happy to keep up their dancing while I just enjoy the show from my place in the shadows.

10 thoughts on “Big Fan

  1. I used to love being in the spotlight when I sang in my h.s. and college years. As I’ve grown older though, I also prefer the comforts of background. Somehow though, Kathryn, I can’t picture you as introverted or intimidated. I suppose this monitor and it’s screen are a big factor, right? ๐Ÿ™‚ I know they are for me in some cases…great post, as always, my friend xo

    • Yes, the ‘safety’ of layers is a serious factor. But having learned to compensate for a lot of my most troublesome fears and anxieties also means that I can often have a life rich with real interactions. Background positions always get my first vote, though. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I meant to comment on this post the moment I read it, which was a month ago. But sadly, I didn’t have enough brain cells to multitask at the time—painstakingly gestating and pushing a blog post out of my own tiny brain while write anything legible on others thoughts and words.

    As a much delayed reaction, I would like to tell you this now—You are far too modest assessing the scope of your own luminosity. I don’t know if you are aware, you have quite an audience of your own, Kathryn. And, I am one of them. I have been dazzled by the brilliance of your wit and wisdom. I don’t know how you do it, cranking out one fantastic post after another, day after day! (You ought to see the painful Lamaze School of Writing in which I have enrolled!) It seems that there is no end to your sparks.

    Whether it is the power of the sun, moon or the star, you have possessed it in your own right. I hope you know that!

    P.S, I just discovered that I can “like” a post on Wordpreess as I press the “like” button on Facebook. This mak me feel infinitely more cool!

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