The Façade isn’t Worth It

Ask for help. Short phrase, simple concept. Really, really hard to execute sometimes. We place such high value on ‘keeping face’ or seeming tough and cool and untouched by mere human foibles, trials, and concerns that many of us are perversely frightened at the idea of doing what should be the one easy thing. Ask for help.

It doesn’t pay to play the brave one or the willing martyr when your world is caving in on you, and even less so when you consider the ripples through the host of people who—though you may forget it at times—count on you, whether for equally small and simple things or for being the love and joy of their lives. It doesn’t do any good to sit and wait for help to come to you: remember how hard it is for you to know your own mind, let alone read anyone else’s, and know that they can’t read yours any better. Even if they realize how deeply in need you are, they may be fearful of offering their assistance because of that very mask of competence and courage you’re hiding behind, and you both lose.

There might not be help enough in the universe to fill your need, never mind your desire. But there’s no Maybe, if you ask that from yourself alone; you will fall. You will fail. When you feel you have nothing further to lose, there are really no such things as “acceptable losses.” Accept, instead, the handout, the hand up, whatever it is that anyone at all can offer you, and with it the hope of better things. It might mean nothing more significant than lightening your mood, and that is important enough. It might save your sanity, or your life. Ask.Digital illo from a photo: Nine, Ten, a Big Fat Hen

7 thoughts on “The Façade isn’t Worth It

  1. So much truth and wisdom in this Kathryn! And a truth that I am learning to comply with more and more. Fierce independence can work against us sometimes because asking for help feels alien and makes us seem weak. But in actual fact, to ask for help takes great courage. There abides a great strength in weakness, I know it very well 😊 xx

    • Indeed, no one knows better than you both how difficult it can be and how absolutely necessary. I am so grateful, myself, for those moments when I got the nerve to ask, knowing that they may well have saved my sanity and life as much as they did my sense of self worth.
      ❤ ❤ ❤

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