The Train Passing through by Night

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What mysterious music leads me there?

I have been yearning. It’s no one’s fault. Someone casually mentions a city I’ve visited and loved. A food I associate for its first heart-stopping recognition with a particular time and place. Friends not seen in an age plus two more ages, and miss with all my heart. And off I go. Yearning, once again, to reconnect. To plug my lonely, under-appreciated passport back in to the hot socket and rev it up for travel.

Homesick! Happier than a pig in dirt where I am, loving every minute of my today-is-today life, rejoicing in the beautiful and joyful things that make my existence such a pleasure and a fulfillment–but able on top of all that sugar-frosted wonderfulness to still feel deeply homesick for places and people who make my many other homes, both slightly and exceedingly far away. From my longing distance, I throw kisses to all . . .

To our family all around the world–tied to us two by blood, or by music, by hope and serendipity and adventure. I miss you whenever we’re apart. To those magical places called cities, countries, houses, apartments, ships, fields and forests, or convent cells, that have given us shelter and, far beyond that, a sense of home wherever we may be on this big watery hunk of rock: I miss you every day that I can’t be there. To the memories and sweetness that have arisen from so many escapades and accidents and crossings of the way, I relish even those precious sensory connections that I never would or could repeat; you, I miss you too, and my mind roams your way whenever it can.

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Above stairs, below stairs and through a million passages . . .

Beautiful are the passages in life that so stamp us with their marks as to turn up the corners of our mouths in blissful grins on every recollection. That make our eyes blur hazily in that inward stare of endlessness that can take us back at a second’s wishful impulse, taking us back on the vicarious flight to relive a bit of it.

Horrible and wonderful both, these cataclysmic catalysts that make me long, no matter how content, to rise up and run off! A fugitive passage of song, that peculiar light at the end of the hall and behind a certain door; the sound of beech leaves shivering in a breezy rain–suddenly I’m transported to the land of transportation, getting yet again that nearly irresistible urge to hit the road, the air, the sea, the rails. And while I’m not really moved to love the arguably threadbare joys of air travel in these latter days, there is one sound I love above all others that might cause this sort of travel-dreaming reverie and ache in the vicinity of the ventricles, and that is the sound of a train. Rumbling, purring, chattering. Calling out its whistle code to draw me out and wake me as it passes through the sleeping dark on the other side of the ravine to slide its way out of the present night.

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. . . and every episode leads me to the next, and the romantic, mysterious next . . .

BOING! “Hi, Old People!” BOING!

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Never mind keeping an eye on the little ones, who's watching out for the geezers?

The neighbor kids, that’s who. They’re the ones that always know what’s happening with the ancient people next door. I know because I’m just the pseudo-grownup version of one of those little squirts. I was the one that went over to the big tall wood fence on Ryan Street when I knew Mrs Pipkin was gardening because I could see the top of our dear neighbor’s head from my shrimpy P.O.V., and piped, “Pickens, my mommy says I can play with you!” I can’t confirm at this great remove that I’d actually received such permission, especially given that I suspect, more accurately, that I was approaching my add-on grandma of my own volition–she having proven endlessly patient in answering my blue-sky questions and letting me trail around after her like a little bit of leftover Christmas ribbon.

Let’s face it: children are insightful whether you want them to be or not, and especially adept at providing their deepest insights at the most inconvenient moment possible. Which is decidedly the most entertaining as well as the most hideously dangerous aspect of spending time with persons of the childish persuasion. Witness the uncanny gift mini-people have for repeating, verbatim but utterly out of context, horrendously revealing things that their elders have previously uttered within the hearing of said small persons. There is simply no antidote for having been indiscreet around toddlers and their ilk. Part and parcel of this talent is they are marvelously gifted at cutting through the cauliflower and getting down to gritty reality in record time.

A friend and colleague once related an excellent tale of such insightful youthful efficiency, regarding a long-ago episode one of his cohorts experienced while teaching in the deep south during the era of Civil Rights‘ supposed birth. A Concerned Parent had contacted the school board with a complaint that friend Mr Krapelski was behaving in a fashion incompatible with the intents and aims of the whole Civil Rights concept, and the board felt the complaint warranted a full inquiry. Hurray for the Board; I imagine this sort of follow-through was fairly rare at the time. The approach was simple and obvious enough. Talk to the kids. So the inspectors, amazingly, did. Somebody did recognize the power of children’s keen observation.

They approached the situation with simplicity and no pre-arranged outcomes dependent on ulterior motives, and they posed the obvious questions to the class: “Does Mr Krapelski treat any of you children differently than others? Is Mr Krapelski prejudiced?” And their answer was equally simple and untainted. A pert little fellow raised his hand immediately. “No, sir, he ain’t prejudiced. He hates us all equal!”

I, though a childless person, am well equipped with nine brilliant nephews and one equally dazzling niece, all of whom in their time have provided rich stores of intelligent interpretations of the universe and its workings, from understanding the threat of the backyard swing that ‘threw’ Grandma when she stuck her toe too firmly in the ground under it (“Mormor, det er farlig!” [“Grandma, that’s dangerous!“]) to telling wildly indecipherable stories that despite their incoherence become clear (and hilarious) by way of outsized pantomime and garbled, gagging narration (the best one was about–you won’t be surprised–a gigantic sneeze followed by an even bigger booger).

They taught me about instinctively genius juniors knowing just how to make it possible for Mormor to get back up the long steep hill from the beach if she wanted to walk down there with the family after her back had gone bad (let Tristan, the beautiful husky dog, tow her back up while she held his leash–which he did briskly and without batting a pale blue eye) to why the same grandma should act as Home Base in a closely contested game of Hide-and-Seek (“because she’s the oldest thing in the house!”).

This latter is precisely the appeal of childlike clarity and bluntness, in my book: they recognize that all of us over about the age of twenty are unspeakably, unreachably, unimaginably distant in the mists of antiquity–yet this has a certain cachet with young kids: unlike, say, their teenage counterparts, they admire and respect this very strange quality of Oldness. It’s really weird, and thus somehow kind of piquant and beguiling.

My husband and I thought of ourselves as only moderately advanced in age when we were in the early fifties and just moseying into the forties, respectively. The neighboring kids put that right into perspective. They lived in the house across the fence from our apartment garage, and the young sprats spent a great deal of their spare time and energy bounding around on the trampoline next to that back fence. We could hear them flouncing and giggling almost ceaselessly–enough, perhaps, on its own to make us feel our age a little more keenly–and then one day we paused for a moment when we’d gone out to get in the car.

BOING! The neighbor kids heard our talking, through the fence. They jumped a little harder so they could clear the top of the fence and get a better look over our way. We heard them cackling and turned around. BOINGGG! We grinned. BOINGBOINGBOING!!! The biggest of the kids waved madly and yelled, “Hi, Old People!” And they collapsed on the trampoline, laughing their curly heads off, while we fell about in equal hilarity as we stumbled into the car. That was all the encounter required. Acclamation and affirmation–of childhood silliness, of punctured pompous pretend-adulthood, and of the joy of being whatever age one is, as long as it’s not taken too seriously. Can’t help but rebound from such commentary a lot higher than we were leaping just a little bit before.

Hurray for unfiltered youth! Hurray for the goofiness of happy aging! Getting old, after all, surely does beat the alternative. Especially when there are some junior wildlings handy to keep everything somewhat in perspective.

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<BOING!>

Stage Blood and Loud Noises

graphite drawingI’m a big fan of cheap theatrics, except when they’re being used to manipulate the innocent for nefarious purposes. Take, for example, the “rainforest” fakery of grocery stores that play a musical little mini thunderstorm soundtrack for a second before spritzing their produce bins with a fine mist of “freshening” water to impress us all with how natural and pristine their dew-flecked delectables are. Always hoping that we will be pleasantly enough diverted by this charming display to ignore the general reality: that we are being annoyingly dampened whilst attempting to retrieve our groceries in an ostensibly sheltered indoor space. That the soundtrack is remarkably similar to that White Noise one we play to put us in a somnolent state in the comfort of our own boudoirs, and could reasonably, therefore, fall under suspicion of attempted brainwashing more than vegetable-washing (no one need comment here on how much the two may be assumed to resemble each other by our grocery-vending overlords). That adding moisture to vegetation that has been removed from its growing environment speeds its decay and makes it more vulnerable to contamination of many wonderfully creepy kinds. That the ensuing waste of live produce drives up the cost of said produce almost as much as does the production and installation of the whole set-piece that put the drama in motion in the first place.

And we complain about the price of the Real Deal in the farmers’ market.

On the other hand, as a flaming fan of fantasy, I have to show my appreciation for the sincerely phony. You know: art for Fun’s sake. Silliness. Over-the-top drama on the stage and on the page, to drench the theatre or the reading room with tears and terror. Wildly, extravagantly gorgeous embroideries and carvings and photos and engravings and pastels and bronzes and encaustics that make no pretense of being journalistic but want only to transport us to their own extraordinary alternate worlds. This is the stuff that dreams are made on, and from which new dreams are made. Because it expresses our true selves in ways that no other thing can: art.

There are many lost or neglected skills and crafts in the wonderful world of art, and many yet to be discovered. The universe is awash in potential song, image, and dance, and the invitation is out: come and play! Write a play! Bring on the new opera, the marvels of a magical aquatint, a novel, a scintillating sweep of tapestry, a ballet, a symphony–or maybe it’s time to revisit some longtime form and bring a new perspective to this fabulous world of ours by opening new vistas into yet another set of worlds. Write a love letter to creativity that you’ve never written before, and all the rest of us are here waiting to share the love. After all, there is something deeply inviting about fiction and fun for their very own sakes.

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Pressing the Reset Button (A Walk in the Park)

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To take a moment to savor serenity . . .

Sometimes I’m taken aback, when I not only have but actually take advantage of a quiet interval, a space for introspection . . . and realize how rarely I do this simple exercise that I ought to do consistently. Stop. Think. Breathe slowly and deeply. Imagine. And let everything else just go. Let it flow away, sink out of sight.

Life in general is not (for most of us) the proverbial Walk in the Park. But is that because it’s how it has to be, or because we let it be so? Will the earth really fall off its axis and life as we know it end because I took an hour to do nothing except regroup silently and maybe take a stroll around the building, around the neighborhood? Of course not. There are moments of life-and-death drama for us all–for some, every single day. But if we let those be all that we have, what do we sacrifice in the exchange? Whom do we allow ourselves to be, and how does that affect all of the people around us whom we profess to treasure so?

I think I know. And in moments like this, when I do allow myself to slow down and take that healing inspiration of a meditative calm, of a purposeful emptying of my busy heart and brain to open up space for something less frantic and a little less fixed–I find beauty. Not because all of the Stuff stops mattering; I’ll return to the buzzing hive soon enough and take up my part in the foolishness once again. Because I find just enough renewal in the smallest pause to sustain me through that next onslaught of outrageousness, the incoming demands and the overwhelming sense of Things That Must Be Done. And then I will try my best to remember from time to time to reboot, to hit Pause again. To purposefully do nothing at all.

If only for a moment.

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I'll allow little spaces for larger beauties to come into view . . .

50 Fabulous Uses for Your Old Microwave

digital photocollageI’ve always gotten a vast amount of entertainment value from the astonishing and miraculous claims of advertisers and would-be self-improvement guidance gurus. Everybody’s got incredible, and I do mean, literally, incredible stuff to offer me. And asks so little in return! (Often, only $19.95, and if I order before midnight tonight, they’ll throw in shipping and handling, and the second batch is free!)

Why, just this morning there was an email offering to help me confirm the $95K deposit I was (apparently in an out-of-body experience) making in some unspecified account for equally unspecified purposes. No charge for this generous offer of assistance! People can be so selfless, so willing to give of themselves to complete strangers.

I also love the kinds of unsolicited catalogs that appear in the mailbox or sneak in, sandwiched in the middle of the Sunday paper, offering a dazzling array of specialized tools that do things I didn’t even know I needed done, outfits for occasions I would otherwise have dreaded attending for lack of appropriate garb, and mail-order taste treats that I can only assume would make fantastic foundation blocks for the addition to my garage if they are as heavy and solid as they appear in the illustrative “mouthwatering” photos. Not that I am the suspicious type, but do I often check the small print in those last to see if they were sponsored by any orthodontic clinic or the local emergency room.

With my husband’s work as an educator and conductor, he is constantly supplied with offerings of books that will teach him how to be the perfect pedagogue and assume, evidently, Manchurian Candidate-like control of his singers and instrumentalists, not to mention catalogs of instruments used around the world in all of the best (surely they can’t be exaggerating) professional orchestras, Tibetan Buddhist temples, national trophy-winning marching bands, Montessori schools, and the White House at Christmastime. I especially adore the array of costumes on offer for performers, each more likely than the last to make audiences faint in astonishment at the sheer beauty and professional demeanor of his singers. If you happen to judge such things by weight of sequin-age or quantity of yardage when stretched to the full possible extension of the no-iron knit fabrics.

When I was in academia, I mostly received art supply catalogs and sample textbooks that publishers were certain my students and I could no more breathe without than we could imagine surviving a semester of English composition or Introduction to Design unaided by their inspirations. But it was in my work as the university’s gallery director that I got the really good stuff. Along with the usual bibles of workplace safety and inventories of must-have tools (some of which I’m still puzzling over), I got catalogs for ordering more esoteric supplies, like specialty light bulbs that would instantly convert the one-room concrete box gallery into the Quai d’Orsay, archival storage equipment that would only cost me approximately three years of my whole gallery budget for one four-shelf unit (base and casters not included), and my personal favorite, a free subscription to Bathroom World, where I could peruse at leisure (presumably, whilst seated) the marvels of wall-hung thrones, public-proof stainless steel soap dispensers and no-touch trash bins and, yes, signage that would make all of the needy sigh with relief.

I know it’s daft, but I do get sucked in by those 1001-Ways promises of all sorts of how-to pamphlets and book collections and DVDs. It’s not that I fall for the claim that this one will solve forever the mystery of the ages, it’s that I’m so enamored of the fantastic imagery in word and picture that someone labored to cook up to convince me of the claims. If you not only sat down to concoct a mile-long list of things I can do to save the environment using only the old can opener I was going to throw away this week but you even took the time to create flashy illustrations of what a fit, popular, pitch-perfect human being I will become as the direct result of these activities, why–who am I to deny you the opportunity to improve me so?

Ah, I know in my heart it’s all pixy dust. But I do so like dipping my toe in, if only to savor the sometimes fall-down-funny misguided efforts made to better me for my own good. May my admittedly shaky wisdom still keep me safe from all fishy Free Offers, and help me to know the difference between ‘The! Real! Deal!’ and an actual deal. But please, may I also never lose the ability to enjoy an outrageously, stupendously, screamingly awful offer for its sheer audacity and ridiculous beauty.

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Foodie Tuesday: In a Froth over Broth

How do I love broth? Let me count the ways.

photoSo versatile and so flexible an ingredient, it’s surprising that broth should be so UN-intimidating, so simple to concoct once you get the hang of it. After all, it’s water and flavorings simmered together for a nice long party in the hot tub, nothing more really. I’m extraordinarily simplistic when it comes to broth: if it ain’t easy to brew and full of tasty smooth liquid-gold goodness when it’s done, it ain’t gettin’ made in my kitchen. It ought to have a nice dose of nutrients beaming out of its depths as well, but I’m not getting any meters and test strips and laboratory lunacy involved to prove my point; if the ease is easy enough and the soup is slurpy enough, my litmus test is satisfied.

Every time I slide the old slow cooker off its shelf and out to start the party going, I clutch at my heart to still the palpitations of happy-tude. Because somewhere along the line, this kitchen commitment-phobe who dreaded attempting to prepare anything that looked complicated and fussy and mysterious discovered that while a good broth may require a certain amount of attention and a couple of brief periods of semi-assiduous activity over a couple of days (!), it doesn’t have to be scary and impossible, even for me. And hooray, it doesn’t have to follow a persnickety recipe full of esoteric ingredients either.

Good soup-secret factoids I’ve learned:

1 – Don’t think too hard. The more I muck about with a Plan in the kitchen for anything, the more I tend to want to give up.

2 – Use good ingredients. Don’t cook with anything you wouldn’t be willing to eat as nearly unadulterated on its own as is safe or any booze or juice you wouldn’t be caught drinking on purpose. That age-old wisdom is handed down from the earliest generations of cooks precisely because it’s True and it works.

3 – Choose tools that work the way you want them to and keep the techniques as uncomplicated as possible. Good broth can be made without much real skill, I’ve learned, so don’t go and make it more daunting than necessary.

4 – Let the ingredients, tools and time do the work for you as much as possible.

I use a Crock-Pot®, because it’s the slow cooker I happen to have and I like it. I’ve had it for about a decade and it puts up with all of my kitchen monkeyshines without breaking a sweat. Okay, that’s a complete fib: slow cookers tend to “sweat” profusely inside; it’s part of what they’re designed to do. Mine has a see-through (except for that condensation) glass lid and a removable stoneware lining that lets me soak all of the evidence away after whatever I’ve wrought in my cooking frenzies.

The rest of my broth-making arsenal is basic as can be. My 10×14″ Pyrex® casserole baking dish (not seen here–it was in use elsewhere during today’s modeling photo-shoot) to put bones and/or vegetables in for roasting before the big simmer starts. Tongs and a sturdy spoon for tending and fishing around in the broth contents once in a while if needed, and a sturdy cooking spider (this 6″ diameter baby works great for my purposes). Our old pasta strainer cook pot, lined with a flour sack dish towel, is the perfect way to finish the broth straining once the cookery is done.

photoThe ingredients of my broth parties are variable. A basic vegetable broth from my kitchen is likely to be nothing more complex than the classic aromatic combination of carrots, celery and onion, with seasonings dictated by my mood and the intended uses of the broth (mmmm, shall I go southeast Asian this time? Head for something more Spanish and gently tuck in some saffron at the end? Throw in some fruit?).

Seafood broth starts with the same aromatics and gets whatever shellfish parts–yay, I get to say exoskeletons, because it’s correct and such a cool word!–I can get my paws on thrown in along with the available vegetal treats. I’m not entirely open-minded when it comes to the veg that gets added to broth blends, because there are some (cruciferous culprits, I’m looking at YOU, for example) that will take over the pot the minute they get a chance and you won’t taste anything else. No matter how much I like broccoli, I’m saving it for Cream of Broccoli soup where it can show off all it wants without being a pest, but otherwise I’m a segregationist lest there be a liquid coup d’état.

Roasting almost anything before simmering it in liquids, thanks to the ethereal effects of caramelization or Maillard reaction, is a great way to enrich and intensify the flavors of the brew, so if there’s time to do a medium-heat roast beforehand, it’s always a dandy addition. And since that process is so ridiculously simple, it’s one there’s no reason to avoid.

How I roast this stuff: scatter coarse chunks of tasty ingredients in a big flat pan (the aforementioned Pyrex, in my house), season them with a light sprinkling of good salt and black pepper and a spritz of some delicious fat (coconut oil, olive oil, butter, lard, bacon drippings–whatever the mood requires that happens to be on hand), and stick it all in the oven at around 350 degrees Fahrenheit until it smells irresistible and looks as pretty as a roasted-goodies picture should look. What to roast: aromatic vegetables, root vegetables, sturdy mushrooms, and/or any protein supplements headed for the pot. That shellfish armor, some hunks of not-very-tender meat or just bones from the same birds or beasts that are destined to be the centerpiece–they can all benefit from a bout in the tanning bed. If some of it browns nicely before the rest, pull it out earlier and throw into the cauldron to get a head start simmering.

photoAll of this takes far longer to tell than it does to do.

So. Pre-roast whatever you want browned. Then you load up the slow cooker with the browned goods, vegetal parts, and seasonings, cover it all with water and/or white wine (red almost always overpowers the flavor too much for mere broth), throw in another knob of butter or other fat if so moved. Me, I’m almost always moved to add fats, okay? Then Let. It. Cook. No need to fiddle with it again for a very long time. I usually let my broth simmer for a whole twenty-four hours and get all of the flavor and life I can out of the meat, bones, vegetables and seasonings I’ve corralled in my concoction.

Dedicated vegetarians, I accept your choice, but please allow me to differ; while I relish good vegetarian dishes any time, I also respect and admire quality seafood, poultry and meats that are simmered down to their essences in broth. I cook mine so intently–but not, I insist, intensely, as that would kill their flavor and defeat the purpose of this slow ritual–that often the heaviest beef bone in the pot will break into several pieces when I begin the straining process by shoveling out the solids with my spider. Waste not; taste’s in the pot.

I cannot emphasize enough how little it matters to me to do the constant-skimming, water-changing, pot-cosseting stuff that I’m sure has perfectly meaningful and scientific reasons for being done by so many expert chefs. I can’t be bothered, because when I finally do strain out my broth and let it cool and chill it overnight and pull off the fat cap, I haven’t got any leftover grunge I won’t happily glug down plain or in a recipe. I have clear, rich, smiling, shimmering soup stuff that straight out of the fridge wiggles like a happy dashboard hula doll from all of the natural gelatin in it, soup that has rich, deep flavor from the roasting and the combination of delectable ingredients, and especially from the long sensual spa treatment melding it all together, and that I personally think has benefited greatly from not being pestered or treated with distrust. I’m not above poking the spoon in about once every two hours during daylight to slightly rearrange the parts and just make sure everyone gets an equal soak, not to mention to let a little of that intoxicating steam float around the house, but otherwise I’m all about letting the low heat and long time do their thing without interference from moi.

My general favorite broth combination these days is as follows:

Yellow onion, skin and all. Sweet onions are too soulless for soup. Sorry, sweet onions!

Carrots and celery, washed but not peeled or trimmed.

Beef: shanks, oxtail, short ribs, marrow bones, and all of the trimmings from steak dinners that got set aside in the freezer for Broth Day. Chicken: the picked carcass of last week’s roast chicken, plus a piece of fried chicken that didn’t get et at the picnic on Saturday, also all rescued from freezer purgatory. Beef and poultry are great as soloists, but together they rock the house. Just sayin’.

A small palm-full of black peppercorns, several good bay leaves, a big sprig of thyme, about a half-dozen whole cloves and a half-teaspoon or so of whole allspice. Sometimes a stick of whole cinnamon. I never add salt at this phase, since the roasted stuff was lightly salted, the meats were seasoned for their previous meals, I don’t (yes, I confess it right here in front of God and everybody) bother to use unsalted butter, and I concentrate this brew all too well to get anything but seawater if I’m adding further salt incautiously.

[Sometimes I add a knob of grassy pastured butter at this point. Because it’s insanely delicious. If I don’t put it in the pot I’m tempted to just eat it anyway, so better in the broth than in me. Maybe.]

Lop everything into approximately 2″ rough hunks. Neatness doesn’t count. Fill the cooker loosely up to the max-fill mark and then fill in the nooks and crannies with liquid. Set it a-simmer and wait for the angels to come and alight on the kitchen counter in anticipation of the unveiling lo these many hours later.

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I’ve Saved Millions on Psychotropics

digital photo-illustration Why do drugs when the brain is so exaggeratedly colorful and nimbly wacky all on its own! I’ve always felt mighty fortunate that there’s such a party under my hat; not a moment of boredom in sight. Interpreting and making actual use of all the magnificent moonbeams and nutty notions, well, that’s another bag of baloney altogether, but at least the ingredients are there for the taking.

digital photo-illustrationRiding bareback on butterflies and curling up under Enkianthus umbrellas, I learn so many things that no one else has known; how to pass along the knowledge then becomes the deeper part of the puzzle. Shall I present my in-head info as it appeared on my mental screen, in all its glory, and let the world in on my secrets, or is it better to release the brilliance in smaller doses, as poems and pictures, as though it were all mere artistry?

digital photo-illustrationThe mind, one could say, reels. Me, I just try to hang on and go along for the ride. Success is varying. Sometimes it might be simpler to go the magic-mushroom route and pretend the stuff that springs from my innermost is someone or something else’s figment. Fewer questions to be answered, one would think. But I rather enjoy the leaping and wriggling that happen both internally and as an external expression of such fruitful foolishness, so perhaps I ought not to entertain such an extreme premise, but rather stick to my stupendous life of lily-lapped loveliness.

digital photo-illustrationSorry, Big Pharm, I’ll remain on the Funny Farm instead, thank you very kindly. Remarkably fewer side effects, if you don’t count the quizzical inspections by many a well-meaning Normal person or the occasional inability to maintain a facade of ordinariness when it should have been particularly useful. The only mind-altering meds I need are supplied to me by equally offbeat thinkers lending me a loving sip of the nectar of their own merry musings. I thank you all, and invite you to share in this best sort of madness any time you like. Welcome to my psychedelia!

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High Heels and Long Underwear

photoThe change of seasons, whenever and however it happens, always leads me to revisit the idea that we humans are mighty changeable creatures ourselves. This week it suddenly started to act like Autumn here in Texas, after stubbornly refusing to budge from sunny sameness for-seemingly-ever, and instantly there appeared on the public horizon a whole shift of attentions and fashions to go along for the ride. It reminds me as always of what will o’the wisps we are, how fickle and full of silly fancies and steered by every faint current into yet another direction entirely tangential to purpose and meaning, but gripping to us all when we are in it just the same.

Our concepts of beauty and usefulness and value are so mutable, so flexible, it’s a miracle we can find any consensus in our own hearts let alone in the larger community to define what’s important and desirable in our lives from day to day, year to year. I would include most “hard-liners” of any sort in this human whirlpool of constant shift and adjustment too. They will argue that their political or religious or societal stance never alters, but in fact it must if its context is constantly flickering and wriggling uncontrollably, just to maintain the semblance of fixity: the language, tactics, audience-targeting, tools to be used and even reasons for being considered an Immovable Object all have to adjust to the surrounding circumstances and forces in order to keep the believer’s sense of continuity and commitment firm. And that’s both a good and a very scary thing for both sides of the conversation. The Believer side, because it’s really not open to discussion and therefore should neither be questioned nor called to adjust, and the Other-Views side because it’s sometimes hard not only to consider whether we have become fixed in our own ways but also to consider which ways we can and should be going.

That idea alone can veer off into far deeper waters than the initial premise of this rumination warrants, so I’ll leave it by saying that I think of myself as being fairly comfortable with uncertainty and rather not so certain when it comes to taking sides. There isn’t much in the world I know that I see in clearly demarcated black and white, practically speaking. Maybe that’s why I do like to make black and white artworks as much as I do, after all.

mixed media B/W illustrationIn the meantime, the changing of the seasons and its concomitant change of more frivolous things teases me into enjoying the oddity of how easily we are steered in matters of taste and pleasure. The college cuties rambling off-campus are still wearing the same few molecules of skirts and spray-painted tops, but in a faint nod to the changing wind and temperature, suddenly they’re accessorized with bigger than ever Sasquatch boots, long-fringed fake-fur (though still sleeveless) hoodies and, when the males of the species are out of gawking range, garments that look suspiciously like emergency-rescue wrappings used to save hypothermia victims from impending death. I presume these latter items reside, in male-proximal moments, in the depths of those Volkswagen-sized handbags so prevalent nowadays.

Certainly, you can see just from the way I use of the word “nowadays” that I’m old enough to be wearing underpants that could be mistaken for a parachute, holding my socks up with garters, and wearing clothespins on the back of my neck to keep my facial features more reliably in place. To be fair, I was a geezer in many ways from about when I hit the age of ten, so although I eschew such age-appropriate gear myself, I have never quite been what anyone would call At One with the trends. Fortunately for me, I find myself quite fabulous as-is, and apparently those around me have either built up serious tolerance or agree with my skewed view.

So I’m quite happy to live-and-let-live when it comes to personal decoration, even if it means watching delusional dames dress like teenagers, teenagers dress like trashy skanks, and grown men unable to recognize that their comb-overs neither fool anyone other than themselves nor do they remain hugging the skull as insulation when the wind arises but rather take sail and remain vertical until alighting after the storm passes or the gents go indoors, whichever comes first. After all, what would be the excitement, the entertainment value, if we all decorated ourselves well or sensibly or beautifully?

What, especially, would be the fun in all of us considering the same things beautiful? I know one thing: all species would die out shortly after becoming severely inbred if every creature were attracted to only one form of every feature of that creature. And don’t get me started on the likelihood that a handsome sawfish would find a cyclamen pretty or a person who loves to grow prizewinning turnips would like to date a person who looks like a really fine turnip. When it comes to beauty, I’m all for letting you keep your ridiculous prejudices as long as you let me keep my equally ridiculous ones, my friends.

photos x2

Unseemly Predilections

photo montage + textWherein the Language of Flowers Falls Mute

When he spied her ‘cross the room, June-Judy gave a wink

And he saw those brown eyes of hers, and faster than you’d think,

Was head-o’er-heels, tea-kettle up, had flipped his blond toupee,

And knew June-Judy must be his, and that, without delay–

The tale grows sadder here, alas, for when he crossed the room,

Bouquets in hand, adoring, shy, staggering under bloom

Meant to delight his lady-love, she smiled as if to speak

Affection, too, but when her mouth was opened, with a shriek

He toppled senseless to the floor amid his blasted roses,

Quite dead, our hero, and his blooms, killed by her halitosis.

digital photo montagePark Pastorale

Among the poplars in the park,

a possum paused to peer,

and though it had grown very dark

–it was late in the year

as well as late at evening-time–

the possum saw a bright

white streak pass by under the lime

tree ‘cross the way; the sight

so startled her she had to take

a closer, clearer look,

and wandered over by the lake

right where it met the brook,

gazed left and right and up and down

and saw the streak once more,

at speedy pace, dashing toward town,

along the lake’s broad shore,

and hurried closer at a run

so nothing should be missed,

and at that speed, a snappy one,

caught up–and here’s the twist:

the streak was on a young skunk’s back,

the skunk lad struck with fear,

at Possum’s rush, into attack,

and so stuck up his rear

and flipped his tail, prepared to spray

(look out, folks! Hold your noses!),

aimed at Miss Possum straightaway,

and spritzed the scent of roses!

For, happily, our young skunk swain

had spied this possum lass

and so admired her, he was fain

to skip the poison-gas

and woo her while he had the chance

and serendipity,

and now they dance their wedding-dance,

his possum-love and he.

Larcenous Love

graphite drawing

Is that a candy bar I see before me? Or must I go in search of sweeter dreams?

I do so love this life with you, my candy-dandy sweetie pie,

But can I trust you? I must ask, and no one needs to wonder why,

For after all, despite desire–in spite of all that mushy part–

First off, you set my soul on fire, and then, you thief, you stole my heart;

Numerous are those reasons why I know by now you can’t be trusted,

Not the least of all is which my blood-sugar is maladjusted

By your sweet enchanting love, the excess yumminess of you–

Let’s face it, robber-baron Babe, you take my ticker, still you do–

Just don’t be cruel and stomp it flat or throw it back in my poor face,

A cruel conclusion to our trysts, and on the top of it, disgrace;

Feel free to keep the pilfered part, but stick here close–I’d miss it, sorta,

If you took off and left me here without you or my own aorta.

pen and ink

Liquor is quicker, sure, but what about when the hangover wears off? What will soothe my broken heart then, huh?