Skipping thro’ the Birchen Wood, I Thought I Spied a Whale

acrylic on canvas

Here in the forests of my imagination . . .

What wondrous light through yonder branches gleams? Would that it were the opalescent glow of glimmering brilliance coming to infiltrate my idle brain. Or perhaps, an itinerant faerie spirit heading my way, jeweled sceptre alit with inspirational powers to be bestowed on my waiting brow with only the lightest of touches. Even the wan incandescent light that flickers in welcome warmth when someone stops by and drawls, ‘Whooooa, cool poem, dude!‘ is an apparition that I welcome in these woods.

But left to my own devices, I am often content to play hide-and-seek with the absurd and ridiculous denizens with whom I myself people the copses and clearings. It’s hard to be bored when in the world of my imaginings I might just as well see a party of rhinoceri dining daintily on macarons and sipping mimosas as find the standard woodland chirpy-birds and curly-tailed possums. And of course I can find plenty of entertainment in the latter, should my rare white rhino friends fail to materialize on the occasion.

The who-what-when-where-why approach of old-time journalism is hardly limited, but so often is put to service in creating dull worlds that have no scintillation or silver-lined possibility of their own. Why should I merely recount the facts, if my friends and compatriots have the same at their own fingertips or floating in the ether encircling their own fevered brows? I feel much more compelled, drawn (and quartered) by the fantastical and unreal, and that doesn’t mean that I must limit my contact with the quotidian. In my view, the real world and everyday experience are both bursting with nonsense and bizarre occurrences that would challenge the sanity of anyone willing to look just slightly under the surface, a tiny bit off of the center of the frame. It’s this singing netherworld of oddity and mystery, of hilarity and not-yet-discovered realms of the heart and mind, that pulls me into its mystical swirl and mesmerizes me.

I am astounded when I hear tell of people admonishing artists and creative folk to give up their wastrel ways and do something Productive. Where these same critics expect inventions or discoveries of import, let alone life-enhancing pleasures and spiritual inspirations, to emerge if not from creative work and play I am unable to guess.

I’ve long since left it to others to describe what they tout as Fact and confirmed Truth. There are endless phalanxes of politicians and scientists and religious leaders, hover-parents and bosses, dictators and dullards, all of whom readily offer their convictions of reality whether I ask them to or not, so I learned that I’d much rather stick to my own version of reality and just see where it takes me.

Does this approach expose me to ridicule and censure? Of course it does. Anything anyone else tells you ought to be taken with an entire inland sea of salt, if it keeps you from swallowing nonsense wholesale. I certainly don’t believe everything I say!

But I did learn, when I bundled up my outsized cravings for outside affirmation in the dense wrappings of uneasy reality and flung them all out the casement, that any reality is somewhat overrated. That the lilac scented porpoises leaping in my own candy-colored seas were not only good company but sometimes took me along to actual places of learning and wholesome connection with genuine people willing to dive into alternate worlds too. And that I grew more deeply convinced that nobody is in such dire need of the strictly factual that their lives can’t be enriched, like mine, by the meandering, iridescent, depthless, deathless joys of curiosity and invention and hope.

acrylic on canvas

. . . and away I swam, bathing in the limpid phosphorescence of wonderment . . .

Do What You Love and Love What You Do

photoDear Me:

Flee specious “requirements” in your life. Think about what is honestly mandatory, absolutely required for survival, health, sanity, legal purposes or whatever. Don’t be dragged into what other people say is right without considering whether it’s right for you and for the world as well, or influenced into doing and being things that have nothing to do with your own real values and needs. Decide what does make sense for your efforts, and do the work that it requires.

Especially, find the most palatable, preferably appealing, ways you can to accomplish those ends. If you’re to spend any of your time and labor and energies on doing Necessary stuff, you really ought to be doing it by the most pleasurable means possible. Life offers enough pokes in the eye that can’t be avoided, so why subject ourselves to any we can sidestep? Rather nicer to seek out the ways in which we can accomplish our goals, meet our needs, achieve the desired ends, by doing things we enjoy and surrounding ourselves with good people and environments. The more enjoyable the compulsory and obligatory parts of life are, the more quickly and happily we complete them. The more swiftly we cover those bases, the more time we have for doing and being the things we prefer and desire most. Follow the example of those greats whose accomplishments are or were shaped by both their pursuit of natural abilities and inclinations and their will to open new doors and find new loves. It’s my belief that work is one of the most egregious four-letter words ever invented, that minimizing the work I absolutely have to do in life and, further, converting any so-called work I can’t avoid doing into something I like doing anyway are highly honorable goals. Paradoxically, I suppose, that’s something I’m willing to work at constantly.

Love, your constant friend and co-worker, Myself

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Viewfinder

digitally doctored soft pastel and colored pencil

Home is located on Cloud Eight.

You will not be the least bit surprised to know that my lifelong residence on Cloud Eight is situated as close as possible to the proverbial Cloud Nine, where all is perfection and the joys of every ideal are quite simply the norm. You may not even be shocked to hear that I have no need, intention or desire to relocate permanently to Cloud Nine. Frankly, I’m afraid that living there full time would blow my gaskets. Too much ecstasy, constant adrenaline and a permanent state of bliss sound dangerously close to hysteria and collapse. Further, I fear that such excess would find some way to become dull, lacking the contrast of subtler and more refined things.

I have no desire for pain and suffering, mind you; I am very well adapted to my happy and near-perfect life, and I am far too un-evolved to handle the demands of a trying existence. I am quite content to be, well, contented. And on Cloud Eight, there are just enough unforeseen twists of the road, moments of sorrow or fear or illness or what-have-you that, when they have passed, become salt: a seasoning valued so highly because in addition to its own flavors it highlights and enhances the other flavors around it. The piquancy and clarity and intensity of joy is only fully possible, I suspect, if one knows a hint of contrast. Maybe that’s just another iteration of my love of black and white imagery.

In the meantime, as I say, goodness and happiness have their own complications, not least of all a jaded or surfeited attitude brought on by over-indulgence. I find pessimism and paranoia dreary and tiresome companions, but a little part of me needs to stand at attention and be alert to their opposites so that I don’t drift along, bleary, blind to the beauty and inspirations all around me. If I fail to see the marvels in my own (albeit somewhat raggedy) garden, the humor in a child’s uninhibited playfulness, the drama and magisterial artistry in a lightning-streaked sky–why, then, there’s no point in lounging around on the everyday cloud most proximal to the place of perfection, let alone taking the occasional jaunt over ‘next door’ for that welcome hit of delirium, is there!

With that in mind, I make it a point to revisit my own environs with a different point of view or a revitalized attitude whenever I can, lest I lose sight of the wonders all around. If I should lack for a blog post idea for a moment, what’s to blame but my own failure to adjust the lens, to improve my focus. To see and revel in what’s right in front of me. I should take every opportunity to pause and refresh my senses, and then I can’t imagine that there won’t always be a new idea, a dazzling insight or maybe just a friendly reminder of how great the seeming old-familiar can be if I let it.

soft pastel on paper

If I tire of the view, I ought to change my perspective . . .

Cave Painting for Dummies

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Who was it that first looked at a rock and thought, "Now *that'd* make a great TOOL"?

I’m fascinated by pioneers, inventors and explorers. Such minds are truly alien to me; how is it possible for a person to look at the same world that every other person has been looking at for ages and see something entirely different, something new? It’s nothing short of astounding that, when presented with what might be the deeply familiar, one person’s distinctive set of synapses suddenly makes a new constellation from the assorted bits of seen-before information to create a completely new idea–and out of this there is a new object or a new skill or a newly discovered country, in that one event changing the known world into a whole different thing.

I’m quite excited but not intimidated by doing that sort of inventive stuff artistically–in imaginary terms–but it’s quite another thing to consider pulling that sort of stunt to get a practical outcome. Those people able to envision a useful and purposeful way to take advantage of existing stuff have provided innumerable advances for human culture. I’m especially amazed by the intrepid andcourageous (or foolhardy) folk that break trail, build roads, cross unknown oceans and so much more, to open up new concepts and ideas to shift our entire understanding of our universe.

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Who stacked the stones that made the very first wall? The first road between walled places? The first trek that plotted the course of the road?

What gives me courage is that not only are there stronger and braver souls than li’l ol’ me to do all of the serious exploring and adventuring and discovery, but that somewhere along the line someone had the inspiration to make melodious sounds and so, sang. Made a drum from a log. Painted with blood or powder or crushed plants on a cliff side or a cave wall. It’s a wonder and a grandly glorious gift that these superlative scientists-of-delight chose–or were compelled–to create dance and drama and song and pictorial beauty, and the more so because they decided, somewhere along the line, to pass along their newly discovered links to yet more undiscovered worlds. They taught the next generation to do the same. On the strength of this wonder, we are the long-time beneficiaries of these marvels, and as it happens, the torch-bearers by whom this will be carried into the future.

So I’m not the heroine who’ll be discovering an unknown species of beneficial insect, finding the previously unseen river, designing the DNA modification that cures Alzheimer’s, or changing the course of history in any way, shape or form. But I will be using shape and form, along with color and texture, character and text, to see what I can bring to this world as we know it, to see how a measly twerp with less sophistication than your average cave-dweller might be able to be an inventor and discoverer of my own sort of thing.

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. . . and I'll keep my eyes open for inspirations wherever they may be . . .

Brace Yourselves! Commissioned Salesman Ahead

I am not fearless. There are so many things, situations, creatures and people capable of putting me right into a state where I quiver all over like Billie Burke‘s ‘Glinda‘ vibrato that you’d be harder pressed perhaps to find anything that doesn’t scare me. I may possibly be the biggest nervous Nelly alive.

But there are few fears that compare, in my catalog of terrors and trembling, with unwanted attention from anybody trying to sell me anything. Even, sometimes, things I might actually want. I dread confrontation of any kind, and will gladly spend the afternoon crouching uncomfortably behind a large spittoon if it means I can evade the silky admonitions of a time-share agent. I could easily be persuaded to skip bail and dodge out of the country incognito if I think I’m being pursued by an eager pamphleteer or community activist, no matter how praiseworthy I think her cause.

My ideal world is one in which, when together, we all cheerfully agree 100% on every concept and construct governing the universe and our little souls within it, and it doesn’t matter a tenth of an iota that in our hearts we know that to be a false front. We can just make nice for the nonce, skip around giving each other sweet-natured high fives, sing charming campfire songs until we begin to feel faint or peckish, and then meander off, comfortably believing whatever it is each of us needs to believe when we get back to our own happy huts. Okay, that modus operandi may be a bit of a push, and I really don’t want to force the idea on you, since that would belie my whole premise. (AWKward!) But still. Can’t we all back off on the urgency of our personal agenda sales pitches just a little?

digital photo illustrationKnow Your Audience–and Your Auditorium

When proselytizing,

You may find it surprising

That all are not moved

To be so improved

As you might hope,

Be you the Pope

Or Guru wise,

So proselytize,

Whether thinly or thickly,

With an eye on the door for exiting quickly.

digital photo illustration

Let Out the Waistband a Little, Wontcha

photoBig as All Outdoors

Though she’s partial to the taste

Of homely things, she would not shun

A lobster tail or truffle, waste

Fine wine, or insult anyone

Who’s made the effort to provide

Her with the best the fecund earth

Produces, so she opens wide,

And so maintains her striking girth

garphite drawingMy paternal grandfather was a fabulous person, a super-grandpa. He was also a well-rounded man. He used to tell us kids he had a ‘watermelon’ stashed under his belt, and we had little reason to doubt it. Clearly a man so full of joie de vivre could have no worse burden than being shaped like the centerpiece of a summer picnic. Unfortunately in combination with an imperfectly functioning ticker this particular element of his physique probably led down a fairly direct path to his early death. But honestly, I can’t say it’s likely he’d’ve traded for more years of life if it meant giving up any serious amount of the good food he adored. He didn’t seem too distressed when laughingly relating his trip to a clothier where he’d been rather imperiously informed by the tailor that he was Portly and would require a bit of special attention to be well fitted.

Me, I can’t say I’d find it easy to choose differently than he did. Because food is a grand part of my joie de vivre as well. I’m more likely to reenact his slightly sheepish yet cheery confession when Grandma caught him almost literally with his hand in the cookie jar and he told her “I only ate fourteen.” Or I’ll quote his favorite refrain about virtually anything edible: “Wouldn’t this be great with some chocolate ice cream!”

photoWhether the menu du jour is old-school comfort food like lemony shellfish over butter-steamed beet greens, a cheeseburger-meatloaf or an egg salad sandwich, or is some fantastic concoction full of exotic ingredients (probably made by more skilled hands than mine, in that case), count on me jumping into the buffet line right away. Hey, I give myself aerobic credit for the jumping, for starters. The exercise’ll help improve my odds, right Grandpa? I’m always going to have a little Grandpa-angel on my shoulder, of course, reminding me to be moderate when I can stand to be, so I won’t follow too exactly in his genetic footsteps, but if I can keep up with the total-immersion happiness he seemed to find in sitting down to a great meal with his loved ones I’ll be glad to consistently have that aspect of my role model in mind too. Just thinking of our many fantastic times with Grandpa makes the food taste that much better, as it is. Hey, you over there, sneak another scoop of that Tillamook Mudslide ice cream into my dish while I go change into my elastic-waist stretch pants, all right?

graphite drawing

50 Fabulous Uses for Your Old Microwave

digital photocollageI’ve always gotten a vast amount of entertainment value from the astonishing and miraculous claims of advertisers and would-be self-improvement guidance gurus. Everybody’s got incredible, and I do mean, literally, incredible stuff to offer me. And asks so little in return! (Often, only $19.95, and if I order before midnight tonight, they’ll throw in shipping and handling, and the second batch is free!)

Why, just this morning there was an email offering to help me confirm the $95K deposit I was (apparently in an out-of-body experience) making in some unspecified account for equally unspecified purposes. No charge for this generous offer of assistance! People can be so selfless, so willing to give of themselves to complete strangers.

I also love the kinds of unsolicited catalogs that appear in the mailbox or sneak in, sandwiched in the middle of the Sunday paper, offering a dazzling array of specialized tools that do things I didn’t even know I needed done, outfits for occasions I would otherwise have dreaded attending for lack of appropriate garb, and mail-order taste treats that I can only assume would make fantastic foundation blocks for the addition to my garage if they are as heavy and solid as they appear in the illustrative “mouthwatering” photos. Not that I am the suspicious type, but do I often check the small print in those last to see if they were sponsored by any orthodontic clinic or the local emergency room.

With my husband’s work as an educator and conductor, he is constantly supplied with offerings of books that will teach him how to be the perfect pedagogue and assume, evidently, Manchurian Candidate-like control of his singers and instrumentalists, not to mention catalogs of instruments used around the world in all of the best (surely they can’t be exaggerating) professional orchestras, Tibetan Buddhist temples, national trophy-winning marching bands, Montessori schools, and the White House at Christmastime. I especially adore the array of costumes on offer for performers, each more likely than the last to make audiences faint in astonishment at the sheer beauty and professional demeanor of his singers. If you happen to judge such things by weight of sequin-age or quantity of yardage when stretched to the full possible extension of the no-iron knit fabrics.

When I was in academia, I mostly received art supply catalogs and sample textbooks that publishers were certain my students and I could no more breathe without than we could imagine surviving a semester of English composition or Introduction to Design unaided by their inspirations. But it was in my work as the university’s gallery director that I got the really good stuff. Along with the usual bibles of workplace safety and inventories of must-have tools (some of which I’m still puzzling over), I got catalogs for ordering more esoteric supplies, like specialty light bulbs that would instantly convert the one-room concrete box gallery into the Quai d’Orsay, archival storage equipment that would only cost me approximately three years of my whole gallery budget for one four-shelf unit (base and casters not included), and my personal favorite, a free subscription to Bathroom World, where I could peruse at leisure (presumably, whilst seated) the marvels of wall-hung thrones, public-proof stainless steel soap dispensers and no-touch trash bins and, yes, signage that would make all of the needy sigh with relief.

I know it’s daft, but I do get sucked in by those 1001-Ways promises of all sorts of how-to pamphlets and book collections and DVDs. It’s not that I fall for the claim that this one will solve forever the mystery of the ages, it’s that I’m so enamored of the fantastic imagery in word and picture that someone labored to cook up to convince me of the claims. If you not only sat down to concoct a mile-long list of things I can do to save the environment using only the old can opener I was going to throw away this week but you even took the time to create flashy illustrations of what a fit, popular, pitch-perfect human being I will become as the direct result of these activities, why–who am I to deny you the opportunity to improve me so?

Ah, I know in my heart it’s all pixy dust. But I do so like dipping my toe in, if only to savor the sometimes fall-down-funny misguided efforts made to better me for my own good. May my admittedly shaky wisdom still keep me safe from all fishy Free Offers, and help me to know the difference between ‘The! Real! Deal!’ and an actual deal. But please, may I also never lose the ability to enjoy an outrageously, stupendously, screamingly awful offer for its sheer audacity and ridiculous beauty.

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High Heels and Long Underwear

photoThe change of seasons, whenever and however it happens, always leads me to revisit the idea that we humans are mighty changeable creatures ourselves. This week it suddenly started to act like Autumn here in Texas, after stubbornly refusing to budge from sunny sameness for-seemingly-ever, and instantly there appeared on the public horizon a whole shift of attentions and fashions to go along for the ride. It reminds me as always of what will o’the wisps we are, how fickle and full of silly fancies and steered by every faint current into yet another direction entirely tangential to purpose and meaning, but gripping to us all when we are in it just the same.

Our concepts of beauty and usefulness and value are so mutable, so flexible, it’s a miracle we can find any consensus in our own hearts let alone in the larger community to define what’s important and desirable in our lives from day to day, year to year. I would include most “hard-liners” of any sort in this human whirlpool of constant shift and adjustment too. They will argue that their political or religious or societal stance never alters, but in fact it must if its context is constantly flickering and wriggling uncontrollably, just to maintain the semblance of fixity: the language, tactics, audience-targeting, tools to be used and even reasons for being considered an Immovable Object all have to adjust to the surrounding circumstances and forces in order to keep the believer’s sense of continuity and commitment firm. And that’s both a good and a very scary thing for both sides of the conversation. The Believer side, because it’s really not open to discussion and therefore should neither be questioned nor called to adjust, and the Other-Views side because it’s sometimes hard not only to consider whether we have become fixed in our own ways but also to consider which ways we can and should be going.

That idea alone can veer off into far deeper waters than the initial premise of this rumination warrants, so I’ll leave it by saying that I think of myself as being fairly comfortable with uncertainty and rather not so certain when it comes to taking sides. There isn’t much in the world I know that I see in clearly demarcated black and white, practically speaking. Maybe that’s why I do like to make black and white artworks as much as I do, after all.

mixed media B/W illustrationIn the meantime, the changing of the seasons and its concomitant change of more frivolous things teases me into enjoying the oddity of how easily we are steered in matters of taste and pleasure. The college cuties rambling off-campus are still wearing the same few molecules of skirts and spray-painted tops, but in a faint nod to the changing wind and temperature, suddenly they’re accessorized with bigger than ever Sasquatch boots, long-fringed fake-fur (though still sleeveless) hoodies and, when the males of the species are out of gawking range, garments that look suspiciously like emergency-rescue wrappings used to save hypothermia victims from impending death. I presume these latter items reside, in male-proximal moments, in the depths of those Volkswagen-sized handbags so prevalent nowadays.

Certainly, you can see just from the way I use of the word “nowadays” that I’m old enough to be wearing underpants that could be mistaken for a parachute, holding my socks up with garters, and wearing clothespins on the back of my neck to keep my facial features more reliably in place. To be fair, I was a geezer in many ways from about when I hit the age of ten, so although I eschew such age-appropriate gear myself, I have never quite been what anyone would call At One with the trends. Fortunately for me, I find myself quite fabulous as-is, and apparently those around me have either built up serious tolerance or agree with my skewed view.

So I’m quite happy to live-and-let-live when it comes to personal decoration, even if it means watching delusional dames dress like teenagers, teenagers dress like trashy skanks, and grown men unable to recognize that their comb-overs neither fool anyone other than themselves nor do they remain hugging the skull as insulation when the wind arises but rather take sail and remain vertical until alighting after the storm passes or the gents go indoors, whichever comes first. After all, what would be the excitement, the entertainment value, if we all decorated ourselves well or sensibly or beautifully?

What, especially, would be the fun in all of us considering the same things beautiful? I know one thing: all species would die out shortly after becoming severely inbred if every creature were attracted to only one form of every feature of that creature. And don’t get me started on the likelihood that a handsome sawfish would find a cyclamen pretty or a person who loves to grow prizewinning turnips would like to date a person who looks like a really fine turnip. When it comes to beauty, I’m all for letting you keep your ridiculous prejudices as long as you let me keep my equally ridiculous ones, my friends.

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Unseemly Predilections

photo montage + textWherein the Language of Flowers Falls Mute

When he spied her ‘cross the room, June-Judy gave a wink

And he saw those brown eyes of hers, and faster than you’d think,

Was head-o’er-heels, tea-kettle up, had flipped his blond toupee,

And knew June-Judy must be his, and that, without delay–

The tale grows sadder here, alas, for when he crossed the room,

Bouquets in hand, adoring, shy, staggering under bloom

Meant to delight his lady-love, she smiled as if to speak

Affection, too, but when her mouth was opened, with a shriek

He toppled senseless to the floor amid his blasted roses,

Quite dead, our hero, and his blooms, killed by her halitosis.

digital photo montagePark Pastorale

Among the poplars in the park,

a possum paused to peer,

and though it had grown very dark

–it was late in the year

as well as late at evening-time–

the possum saw a bright

white streak pass by under the lime

tree ‘cross the way; the sight

so startled her she had to take

a closer, clearer look,

and wandered over by the lake

right where it met the brook,

gazed left and right and up and down

and saw the streak once more,

at speedy pace, dashing toward town,

along the lake’s broad shore,

and hurried closer at a run

so nothing should be missed,

and at that speed, a snappy one,

caught up–and here’s the twist:

the streak was on a young skunk’s back,

the skunk lad struck with fear,

at Possum’s rush, into attack,

and so stuck up his rear

and flipped his tail, prepared to spray

(look out, folks! Hold your noses!),

aimed at Miss Possum straightaway,

and spritzed the scent of roses!

For, happily, our young skunk swain

had spied this possum lass

and so admired her, he was fain

to skip the poison-gas

and woo her while he had the chance

and serendipity,

and now they dance their wedding-dance,

his possum-love and he.

Larcenous Love

graphite drawing

Is that a candy bar I see before me? Or must I go in search of sweeter dreams?

I do so love this life with you, my candy-dandy sweetie pie,

But can I trust you? I must ask, and no one needs to wonder why,

For after all, despite desire–in spite of all that mushy part–

First off, you set my soul on fire, and then, you thief, you stole my heart;

Numerous are those reasons why I know by now you can’t be trusted,

Not the least of all is which my blood-sugar is maladjusted

By your sweet enchanting love, the excess yumminess of you–

Let’s face it, robber-baron Babe, you take my ticker, still you do–

Just don’t be cruel and stomp it flat or throw it back in my poor face,

A cruel conclusion to our trysts, and on the top of it, disgrace;

Feel free to keep the pilfered part, but stick here close–I’d miss it, sorta,

If you took off and left me here without you or my own aorta.

pen and ink

Liquor is quicker, sure, but what about when the hangover wears off? What will soothe my broken heart then, huh?