Fixity

“Why?” is a beautiful question, even though it terrifies most of us. A wise soul once said that the opposite of faith is not doubt but certitude. When we grow too attached to a belief and its perfect correctness, we disallow not only our own reexamination of that belief, which if it’s so perfectly correct should pose no threat to us and if it’s not, should allow us to become wiser and more faithful to our convictions; we also fail to show respect for the belief itself, if we are so fearful of its being exposed as wrong.

Standing fixed in a position of faith is only impressive if that belief can be defended in a calm, intelligent, reasonable conversation with someone who doesn’t yet share the same convictions. A shouting match or the refusal to discuss respectfully is as likely to convince and convert an unbeliever as punching someone in the nose is to prove that you’re smarter than she is if anyone’s questioned it. It’s more useful to ask, whenever any disagreement arises, whether one is genuinely defending one’s belief or just feels personally threatened. Egos so often get in the way of rational, logical conversation when we reflexively mistake the call for proof or persuasion of our beliefs for personal insults. It might be useful to remember that when someone asks for evidence of something we cherish as fact, we could give them the benefit of believing that they really want to know why we accept it as truth. A genuine discussion might actually lead to common ground.

It might also, if we let it, lead to greater insight on our own part. The dispassionate process of a logician is aimed not at debunking everything in sight but stripping away falsehoods and irrelevancies and fallacies to expose the facts in the matter. Truth can withstand all questioning. It trumps politics, rants, bullying, diversionary tactics, disinformation and pure human foolishness, if we dare to examine all of the input carefully and patiently and with respect for those who may have so far missed the mark. A reasoned and quietly stated truth will finally have more power than all of the smoke and mirrors that deniers propagate and cling to, or we will have to admit we’ve lost more than our own convictions.Digital illustration from photos + text: Zoanthrope

Be a Good Sport

digital artworkIt only just occurred to me that the admonishment to ‘be a good sport’ has little to do with showing athletic prowess and a whole lot to do with someone cajoling someone else to do a thing that the other person has no desire to do. What a to-do!

Perhaps this little guilt trip was meant, if the person saying it to me had any thought about it at all, to encourage me to discover that I actually enjoyed those activities (sports or other) under consideration once I willingly participated. Maybe those who said it even thought I had a hope of becoming skillful, adept, if I just faked a bit of enthusiasm until I got more properly involved. Cynic that I am, I harbor some doubt as to the former and, let’s face it, find the latter somewhat laughable. I can’t think of anything anyone would trouble me to do by telling me to Be a Good Sport that would be necessary to my survival or the rest of the world’s well-being, so it seems pretty plain that I was being chided to do that thing in order to please the person who was scolding me.

If, by not wishing to participate in the present extravaganza (whatever it may be), I am not a Good Sport, then it seems to me a bit like when those demonstrators and activists and yes, politicians, who cheer on their personal causes by insulting and tearing down and attacking their opponents rather than by simply extolling the virtues of the cause and letting it win converts and participants by its own evident excellence, and said promoters are then utterly mystified and stunned that others don’t flock to the cause willingly. You may well surmise from this that I never did buy into the value of group-think much, and in turn, haven’t ever warmly embraced the ‘popular’ activities. You can call me a meanie, a wimp, a curmudgeon, whatever you like, but please don’t label me a Poor Sport for having different wishes and tastes than yours. It’s just not sporting!

Brace Yourselves! Commissioned Salesman Ahead

I am not fearless. There are so many things, situations, creatures and people capable of putting me right into a state where I quiver all over like Billie Burke‘s ‘Glinda‘ vibrato that you’d be harder pressed perhaps to find anything that doesn’t scare me. I may possibly be the biggest nervous Nelly alive.

But there are few fears that compare, in my catalog of terrors and trembling, with unwanted attention from anybody trying to sell me anything. Even, sometimes, things I might actually want. I dread confrontation of any kind, and will gladly spend the afternoon crouching uncomfortably behind a large spittoon if it means I can evade the silky admonitions of a time-share agent. I could easily be persuaded to skip bail and dodge out of the country incognito if I think I’m being pursued by an eager pamphleteer or community activist, no matter how praiseworthy I think her cause.

My ideal world is one in which, when together, we all cheerfully agree 100% on every concept and construct governing the universe and our little souls within it, and it doesn’t matter a tenth of an iota that in our hearts we know that to be a false front. We can just make nice for the nonce, skip around giving each other sweet-natured high fives, sing charming campfire songs until we begin to feel faint or peckish, and then meander off, comfortably believing whatever it is each of us needs to believe when we get back to our own happy huts. Okay, that modus operandi may be a bit of a push, and I really don’t want to force the idea on you, since that would belie my whole premise. (AWKward!) But still. Can’t we all back off on the urgency of our personal agenda sales pitches just a little?

digital photo illustrationKnow Your Audience–and Your Auditorium

When proselytizing,

You may find it surprising

That all are not moved

To be so improved

As you might hope,

Be you the Pope

Or Guru wise,

So proselytize,

Whether thinly or thickly,

With an eye on the door for exiting quickly.

digital photo illustration