The Waiting Game

Life as we know it in the present day is characterized as a hurry-up-and-wait proposition. We tend to bemoan the pressures at both ends of the spectrum with something like a sense of martyrdom, thinking this push-pull unique to our era. But it’s always been so. One only has to study a smidgen of history to recognize the same complexities of speed and sluggishness, and note the same anxiety regarding both, in our predecessors.

Now, I’ve never been pregnant or had a child of my own, but I have it on reliable authority that that process is rife with opportunity to experience the perfect distillation of both forms of anxiety. I can say, from my years of babysitting and cousin-watching and then a couple of decades of teaching, that regardless of the legal or moral or biological relationship, the ties we have with those younger than ourselves bring out such parental fears, anticipation, dread and excitement with greater intensity than pretty much any other kind of connection can do. Terror and hope will always intermingle in the heart if we have any concern for the young, filling the stasis of Waiting from the moment of their first cellular appearance and well beyond into full adulthood.graphite drawingLife and safety and comfort are all such tenuous things, it’s a wonder we don’t all burst into spontaneous flame from the sheer tension of our worries and our desires. The only assurance we have is the history demonstrating that our forebears somehow survived their concerns over us, and theirs in turn for them, back into the far reaches of historic memory. The tipping away from apprehension and toward faith in what lies ahead is the gift that enables us to wait, no matter how illogical and impossible it may seem.

My Heart is Racing

digital painting from a photo

Moving at Speed

Everyone’s obsessed with speed

As though it were a grail,

But give the people what they need—

Not what they want—and they’ll

Discover much to their surprise

Alternative delights

That come in the more subtle guise

Of leisured days and nights

And find at last that racing lacks

The lure of lying low,

Avoiding rampant heart attacks—

Instead, loving the slow,

The thoughtful, easeful lassitude

Of living at snail’s pace,

And savoring those motes of joy

Bypassed by those who race

digital painting from a photoNearly Endless Cycles

We pedal around at a furious rate

Just as though we’d outrun finitude, death and fate

But the truth of the matter, however we flee,

Is we’ll all still die off—that guy there, you, and me.