Don’t Bother Me When I’m Sleeping

Photo: Dr. Coffin, I PresumeWorld-Weary, or Geologically Tired…  

If you wake me at an hour too far ante-meridian,

I’m sorry, but my heart is dark and harder than obsidian

But if you keep me up too late and sleepless in the night,

It’s just as likely I will have a heart of anthracite.Digital illo from a photo: Just Let Me Sleep

Pretending Imperfection

Image

Photos + text: Five Minutes

Low Voltage

Image

Photos + text: Only Mortal

Don’t Make Me the Goat of the Story…

…I’m perfectly able to make a mess out of things all by myself!Photo + text: Methinks the Lady

Drwg + text: I do *Mean* Well

Disharmonious Disaster

Image

Photo + text: Lack of Talent

Done, and Done

 

I’m an overachiever. When I’m not faced with excessive reality, anyway.Digital illo + text: Done, and Done

Foodie Tuesday: Chia Pets, Kitty Dishes, and Sunshine in a Bowl

Though the novelty wore off at some point, the silly popular terracotta animal figurines Chia Pets have continued to live on in myriad beastly iterations, including of the human animal, whenever anyone wanted a bit of lighthearted fun wasting edible chia seed sprouts for sculptural entertainment by growing them as hair or fur on the pottery. That, of course, was before the rediscovery of chia seeds as actual food. In recent times, not only has their tiny tastiness as green sprouts been restored to its rightful place among the many yummy sprouts now being revered as micro-mini greens, their magical gelling abilities have been discovered to make a miraculously delicious thickener for tapioca-like (but chia is more nutritious than tapioca) sauces and puddings. Merely soaking the seeds in liquid does the job, the kitchen equivalent of snapping one’s fingers and making genie surprises appear out of thin air, so I can’t think of many ingredients more all-purpose admirable.
Photo: Chia's Charms

Meanwhile, back in my dad’s childhood (even earlier than the inception of the Chia Pet, as difficult as that might be for you to believe), there was another kind of treat that made desserts desirable to him: the Kitty Dish. The ingredients of the meal were irrelevant, as long as the proper bowl contained the food meant to tempt the tot. The enticement lay not so much in the comestibles as in eating his way to the bottom of the dish to uncover the picture of the kitty in the middle of the bowl. It’s a boon to parenthood to find a container so special that it will inspire a recalcitrant child to work his way to the bottom of the serving, and when the little fellow in question was old enough to have little kids of his own, he made certain that we, too, knew of the beauties of his fabled kitty dish. So when I found a charming little dish with a kitty on it (albeit decorating the outside), I knew that I must have one of my own.
Photo: Kitty Dish #3

As it’s a very kawaii little item of Asian porcelain, in addition to being a lucky cat, I thought it a highly suitable vehicle for something delicate and cute in the way of a dessert or snack. Or (you know me), breakfast. In this case, it was just the right size for a scoop full of citrus pudding dotted and thickened with chia seeds, a bright, light, fanciful, froth of a dish. It was fun and yummy in equal parts. Kind of the way I imagine a little boy might have once felt about his eating when spooning up the last bites of dinner to get to the kitty picture at the bottom of the bowl.
Photo: Citrus Chia Joy

Citrus Chia Cream

This was an oddly conglomerate dish that turned out to be less crazy and more just plain crazy-good than I expected. It happened in four phases. The first was to take 1 cup heavy cream and whip it until very thick, then fold it together with 1/2 cup lime curd (I used a good quality ready-made kind—the dish was already fussier to make than its simple taste and appearance would admit). Next, make a saucy custard of 1 cup pureed (fruit juice-) canned mandarin orange segments, a good shot of elderflower cordial or liqueur, and three eggs, blended, cooked to thicken, and cooled. The third step: combine the lime-cream, the mandarin custard, and 1 cup plain whole milk yogurt with a small pinch of salt. Lastly, stir all three creamy components together with quite a lot of chia seeds; they don’t swell hugely, so adding nearly as much as is desired in the finished pudding is fine. Chill the treat thoroughly before serving it.

I can’t guarantee you’ll like it, but I thought it was the cat’s meow.

Human vs. Ruminant

Image

Photo + text: Human vs. Ruminant

Overprepared and Underwhelming

Digital illo: Must Make a Good Impression

Text: Quickly, Dear!

50 Wishes for Happiness

Photo: Carry My Wishes to the StarsOn the most auspicious sixth day of June in human history, my youngest sister was born. If you don’t know what made it the most auspicious, you haven’t met my youngest sister. On this anniversary of her birth, I offer her these wishes for this and many, many birthdays yet to come. Blow on the seeds and let them carry the wishes up to the stars (I give you a milkweed rather than a dandelion, because the former are bigger and bolder, and every seed makes a new plant to feed both butterflies and even more wishes)—Kjæresten Min, may you:

1: Always know that you are loved.

2: Live surrounded by flowers.

3: Breathe fresh air deeply and often.

4: Be grateful for your good fortune.

5: Embarrass yourself just often enough to keep you humble (but

6: also) Wear the armor of unassailable self-confidence.

7: Find money under the furniture every time you clean house.

8: Get hugged whenever you need it.

9: Be generous at every opportunity.

10: Enjoy your ongoing status as the Smartest Sister.

11: Hear fabulous music wherever you go.

12: Never have awkward holes in your clothes.

13: See rainbows in every rainy day.

14: Rest and recover easily.

15: Never be too mature for anything important.

16: Live long and well.

17: Wear only what’s comfortable.

18: Choose joy, every chance you get.

19: Let politics roll off your back.

20: Never sit next to a person who smells awful.

21: Learn to enjoy everything you Have To Do.

22: Be a little wild when you can.

23: Have underwear that never rides up and socks that never fall down.

24: Always be comfortable in your own skin.

25: Smile knowingly with great frequency.

26: Have plenty of opportunities to stretch your horizons.

27: Stay warm enough in winter and cool enough in summer.

28: Wear your silliness proudly.

29: Revel in great good health.

30: Keep monitoring the halls because you care.

31: Be forever glad that you live wherever you live.

32: Frequently learn new things that interest you greatly.

33: Never run out of chocolate.

34: Tuck and roll when necessary.

35: Age with style.

36: Travel in comfort and explore with relish.

37: Be invisible to pests.

38: Think every day is the Best Day Ever.

39: Remember the stuff that matters to you.

40: Forget everything that makes you sad.

41: Immerse yourself in welcome silence.

42: Avoid toxic situations neatly.

43: Keep your savoir-faire intact.

44: See your beauty as clearly as others see it.

45: Miss every pothole in the road ahead.

46: Celebrate at any-and-every excuse.

47: Find unexpected goodness around you everywhere.

48: Be overflowing with contentment.

49: Continue to shine brightly.

50: Always remember that you are loved.

And have the happiest birthday yet…until the next one…and the next…!