Today I saw a televised ad encouraging persons who had experienced negative results from using a particular medical treatment to come forward and be represented in a class action suit by the law firm posting the advertisement. The advert had the usual tangle of legal terms sprinkled among references to the undesirable outcomes various patients had experienced, as this  sort of campaign usually does, but somebody in the TV production department seems to have had his or her own unintended grammatical consequences, because the last frame of text that appeared on the TV screen exhorted victims “If you have used this product and experienced injury, stroke, heart attack, or death, please call now,” and gave a toll-free telephone number.

I wonder what the protocol is for operators being contacted by any plaintiffs in the latter category, and whether, if any said operator should in turn have a stroke or heart attack or just die from the shock, that too would be legally admissible as a result of the faulty medication, however indirectly. Might set off quite the cycle of problems, though the more it filled coffins, the more it would presumably also fill the lawyers’ coffers.

No matter. Surely everybody needs a little understanding now and then for not responding as the inviting party might wish on every occasion, no matter how enticing the invitations might be. After all, I’d imagine it can be difficult to be perfectly socially correct when one has already kicked the bucket. Just saying.