O Death, Where is Thy Sting?

As long as I can crack jokes about it, there can’t be anything gruesome or terrifying or unnerving at all about dying. I hope. (She said, winking and smiling slyly.)digital painting from a photograph

Pretty Little Graveyard

Pretty little graveyard,

How all your headstones gleam!

How delicate and marvelous

Your mausoleums seem!

It’s sweet and quaint and dainty,

The peaceful way you lie

Filled up with rotten corpses,

Under the sunny sky.digital collage

Funeral Arrangements

The way the flowers grew in shade,

I knew at once that one fine day

They’d make a funeral bouquet

All prearranged, as though pre-made

By funeral mutes in plumed top hats

And wearing bombazine black sashes,

Their pearly skin as pale as ashes,

Accompanied by coal-black cats

Between the funeral-wreathed front doors,

Their carriage drawn by sleek black steeds,

With passengers in widows’ weeds

As fitting as the hellebores’.

It’s All Downhill from Here

colored pencilGhoulish Delight

I rustle my hands in taloned glee

Because the deadly recipe

From neither pots nor spoons nor pans

But sort of cauldron-cooked began

To boil and burble, burn and bake

And make a horrid bellyache

In which I openly rejoice

From the bottom of my heart at the top of my voice

Since it eats at the spot whence woe betides

I mean, my enemy’s insides

I hate to admit that it drives me nuts

How I loathe the cretin’s creepy guts

So I will make like a fleet of moles

And bore them full of a flock of holes

Filling me full of ironic glee

And comeuppance for him who so bores me

Since that’s why I really stayed in school

To grow up and be a bad little ghoul

And lest you forget yourself, sneer or scoff

Be nice to me or I’ll bump you offcolored pencil

So Soon Begins the End

Upon my word! This is a fix

I never thought to find me in–

at least not find for five or six

more decades, when my hair’d grown thin

and belly fat, and joints grown weak

and brain grown mushier than it had

been yet, but I age as we speak–

so rapidly–why, this is Bad!

I never dreamed that I would age

before a hundred years or so,

and then, at most, to turn more sage;

oh, this is a grubby way to go!

Not So Deadly Serious After All

photoTerms of Interment

I’d like to twine my limbs among

great roots beneath an oak,

eternally embracing there

but not before I croak.

I want my grave within a grove

of alders, at the least,

so plant me deeply in the trees

but wait ‘til I’m deceased.photo

Cheer up; it could Happen to You

The shrinking shrubbery betrays the end-of-season, last of days,

that comes—enfin!—to suck and drub the lushness out from every shrub,

to make it sere and small and sharp, and leafless, stringy as a harp;

to drag the desiccation on until all fruitful life is gone,

and while it’s shrinking, to remind me salad days are left behind me;

so I, too, will shrink and shrivel: I’ll dry up, as all who live’ll.photo

Roland Stone Gathers Moss

Roland was a rascal

Roland was a scamp

Roland gave his children

A trip to summer camp

The neighbors thought it generous

But never did they guess

He moved away and left the kids

No forwarding address

The kids were smarter than he thought

And found him anyhow;

They gave him a nice funeral, though:

The joke’s on Roland now.

Don’t Blame Monday

It’s true, I’m among the horde of cruel people who put the onus for all our Monday growling and grumpiness and grunge on the day itself. Many of us see Monday as the End of All Things Fun, coming as it does on the heels of any sort of weekend respite or recreation we might have enjoyed. I’ve long had that nasty habit of looking in the mirror on a Monday and seeing monstrous presence there, only thinly veiled by the black cloud of my ill-humor.P&II think perhaps it’s time to take a little responsibility for the ogrish attitudes myself and reclaim Monday as the Beginning of something fresh and new–by making it that, if need be, by force. The end of one thing is almost inevitably the beginning of another, and if the follower isn’t to my liking, then who’s to change that but me? Isn’t it just possible that in the open spaces between my crotchety complaints and snarky remarks, there could be room for the tiny wedge of reinvention to be driven in for a start? I think I should see what I can accomplish in this. No need to keep glowering at a meanie in the mirror morosely.P&IOne of the first things, I suppose, is to make sure that my Mondays hold something that I look forward to eagerly, something to start my week with a measure of pleasure. So I am taking that step in a small way already: Monday is my day for planning and for clearing the decks. As an inveterate list-maker and lister-of-lists, it’s my day to ‘walk the fences’–and since my Spread (no, dears, my Texas ranch, not my posterior measurements) consists of a house on a typical city-sized lot, it’s not too hard to accomplish that part, at least in temporal terms. But I must do so with eyes wide open for details that need attention so that I know of all the things that require mending, tending or improving. Those light switches that are going to be replaced. (The replacements have already been bought–check!–so it remains only to install them: Note!) The wood handles on the washtub need a preservative oiling. The seed starters are lined up as kits in the garage work area but need to be assembled now. And with the Must Do list is the ever-mutant list of how-abouts: would the window coverings in the reading/TV room be better insulation and easier to open and close if I redo them? Can I put a more comfortable seating angle on that chair by shimming the front legs? Do I have all of the supplies from my shopping list for finishing that little art project? Is the grocery list for Tuesday complete?

There is a surprising amount of satisfaction in not just being able to cross little things off those perpetual lists as Finished but being able, as well, to refine the remaining items so that they are more clear and purposeful and prioritized, and give shape to the rest of a busy week for me. It’s just the way I operate. It also makes me feel a little freer and lighter about what pleasurable things I can do while accomplishing my list-work, how I can distribute things in the short and long term, and when I can break up the flow of Projects with Fun–this latter being an essential thing and not, then, needing to feel like a disruption of the flow but rather a welcome island in the stream. Me, I like a wildly numerous and exotic archipelago of what others might admittedly think purposeless delights in my life’s flow.

So I am on a campaign of making Mondays a favorite day for me by turning my old attitude on its ear. I always had a fondness for forcing a change in point of view by whatever literalistic or foolish means necessary, after all: if I can’t see my artwork with enough objectivity to make intelligent editorial decisions about it, I need to shift how I look at it in order to adjust how I see it. Stand on my head. Come into a dark room and turn on the light on it suddenly. Imagine I’m a six- or ninety-six-year-old looking at it and how I’d describe it.

In the case of Mondays, I’m guessing many a 96-year-old with healthy feelings toward life would simply be delighted at being alive for another one. And six is an age when everything is still new every day, and electric with possibility. Why shouldn’t I adopt both of those attitudes?

P&IFor now, I intend to arrange at least one additional Fun Thing to be included in my Mondays on a regular basis, but perhaps a different kind of fun each time, so that I can’t get jaded and lackadaisical about it. Certainly it should have elements of silliness included, because that’s something that never does grow old with me, and perhaps is part of the reason I expect I shan’t grow old myself any too soon. Looking out my window, I see that the bare-branched trees of winter are suddenly covered with black lace, that the intermittent wind gusts have kicked up a ballet of curlicued oak leaves in the corner of the patio, and that the cardinals stopping by for a nibble of grain have somehow taken on a much deeper and brighter hue of red. Is it a change of seasons coming on? Perhaps it’s just that I’m letting the seasons change within me.

Creature Feature

photo

Little ray of sunshine, how sweet your flitting ways!

Orange Butterfly

Isn’t it charming, cute and quaint

That a butterfly made up in bright orange paint

Can masquerade thus as a garden saint

And be seen as a ray of the dancing sun

And a light, fleeting dash of enticing fun,

When its finely-veined system in truth is run

On a fuel of venom cold with spite—

It would far rather sink a great poisonous bite

In your pulsing carotid some murderous night—

How pretty, how dainty, how full of cheer

The butterfly’s presence makes it here,

At least behind all that orange veneer

photo

The Lady was a Tiger!

Delicious Deviation

A scurrilous, scandalous sinner

Invited him one night for dinner;

He learned that her wish

Was, he’d be the main dish,

Though before he knew that,

He was in her.

photo

They were drawn to his charisma like, well, moths to a flame . . .

The Ballad of Professor Montague

Professor Montague, a moth (specifically, Cecropia),

was glamorously smooth and frothy, ruling that Utopia,

his professorship at Flares, where tender butterflies and moths,

with innocent and awestruck stares, had visions wild as Visigoths,

fixed on him, rapt, their compound eyes, absorbing, drinking deeply

(through curled probosces and their brains) this wisdom daily, weekly–

they soaked it up–he’d flit about, and with his brilliance all were thrilled,

until one day he was attracted to the classroom lamp . . . and killed.

Our Hard-Earned Inurnments

photo + textInurnment

Don’t let the dignified patina

Lent by old age fool you—

Dead is dead, decay, decay:

One day it too will rule you;

Just because it may look pretty

On an object in decline

Doesn’t mean I’ll like the gritty

Feel of dust when it is mine!

photo + textSurprise, I’m Dead

I never thought to see so soon

My death, when I am scarce past noon,

Yet though it seems a little odd,

I find me snoozing in the sod.

photo + textGone But Not Forgotten

Lily Rivington has gone

And found eternal respite;

We don’t begrudge it, for we too

Gain peace and lose a despot.

Do not speak ill of those who’ve died,

We’re told, whate’er is said,

So let us kindly leave it that

We thank her that she’s dead.

Yes, Rest in Peace, Miss Rivington,

Enjoy eternal slumber;

At last you did do one good deed:

You left our earthly number.

photo + textWish You were Here

I am having so much fun

It doesn’t seem quite fair

That I’m relaxing underground

And you are stuck

Up there.

In the Red-Dyed Greenery

photocollageGreen Thumb Caught Red-Handed

In the great garden of Madame Roussel

There grew, to her horror, a lingering smell

Somewhat out of keeping with feelings genteel,

Good graces and manners, and painfully real;

There came to her notice the knowledge that she

Was the harborer of a bold monstrosity

Fertilizing her flowers by means quite disgusting,

A potent decoction so grossly encrusting

Her sweet Potentilla and Rosa rugosa,

So gamey its stench went from here to Formosa;

Such a shame that the corpses kept coming unburied,

But this was the farthest that they could be carried;

Madame’s predilection for lilies and roses

Was matched by the murders done under the noses

Of neighbors and garden-fanatics and friends,

Some of whom, by the way, met their untimely ends;

In short, the career, the vocation, the loves

Of the dame with the blood-engorged gardening gloves

Could have gone on forever, and borne her much fruit,

Were it not that weight-lifting was not her long suit,

Nor was thorough disposal or digging deep ditches;

Who knew that her roses held such fertile riches?

Exposure, at last, was inevitable

When the soil in the garden grew just over-full;

Then “pushing up daisies” took on a new meaning

And oxidized bodies with fumes overweening

Began their announcements of odorous presence

In a way that Madame found to be an unpleasance;

It was nice while it lasted, a gardener’s thrill;

But for cheap fertilizer, it was overkill.mixed media drawing