Efficiency Expert

Digital illo: Bug

All Tied Up in a Bow

Tidy packages are not

the sole solutions I have got,

but of the puzzles in my path,

few fill me with such rage and wrath

as that I cannot seem to find

what I have lost from in my mind.

I’ve lost more thought than many hath;

Does that make me a psychopath?

Don’t fret, my pretties, yet, for I

am not a wholly rotten guy:

I’d bump you off, but you should know,

won’t (for certain sums of dough)…

and if you can’t afford the fee,

I’ll parcel you out tidily.

Possibly in Your Best Interest

The Kicking of Buckets, and How It is Done

In case a brown recluse spider should come to call on you and with her magical spells weave for you mystic sleep—

In the event that any sharks should smell your yummy blood and render you a permanent fixture of the deep—

Lest some great venerable tree should fall full upon your pointy head and leave you feeling just a little flat—

Or a once-dormant volcano barf its hot majestic load of smoking lava directly onto the brim of your jaunty hat—

Should any untoward or fearsome thing befall you or a tragedy untimely bump you off, I’d feel so sad and even a little guilty somehow

That in my concern for you and to prevent your facing any such future griefs, I feel it’s best that I help you to kick the bucket Now.pen & ink drawing

Dear Me! What was I Thinking When I Wrote That Thing?

graphite drawingHere Lies a Loon

Once upon a tombstone

I read an epitaph

whose sentiments ridiculous

were prone to make me laugh;

the information set thereon

gave me to ridicule

the marker and the makings of

some great exquisite fool;

now lest you think me callous and

a soulless Frankenstein,

you ought to know the coup de grâce:

the epitaph was mine.