Foodie Tuesday: Apple Pie Order

In most places, ‘apple pie order’ refers to perfect tidiness. Around me, not so. It has two meanings for me, each off on its own tangent. The first is very simple: it describes a standard action of my spouse’s–whenever the occasion should arise, he will order apple pie. The second meaning of the phrase in my world is quite the contrary to the idiom. When my husband’s menu request is at home, the pies I am apt to make are anything but orderly.photoAs with all of my kitchen adventures, the making of pie is always and only an approximation of reproducing a Platonic ideal of the pie concept. I am perhaps a touch the cantankerous and childish rebel in the kitchen, constitutionally unable to conform to others’ instructions to the letter. Can’t think of a lot of things as fun as playing with my food, after all. Remarkably, my supertaster spouse, with all of the palatal restrictions this condition inevitably entails, tolerates my machinations and monkeying remarkably well.

I use that phrase advisedly, since despite his uxorious generosity, he still doesn’t hesitate to remark on the results, good or bad. But he doesn’t actually turn up that fine-tuned nose of his very often, as it happens.

The mere physical assembly of a dish is unlikely to come very tidily from my hands, either, given my previously noted propensity for impatience. and slightly anarchic search for visual amusements. Needless to say, anything more pie- or tart-like than a mere crisp or crumble is more often than not going to turn out rustic as can be. Given that I’m a sort of rustic myself, I suppose it’s only fitting.

graphite and colored pencilThanksgiving‘s apple pie was somewhere in between true ‘apple pie order’ and my kind.

My mother is-was-and-ever-shall-be the indisputable nonpareil, the mistress and icon, of pie making. Her crust is legendary with very good reason. I’ve never met a filling she couldn’t make that wasn’t a paragon, the archetype of its genre. Her fresh raspberry pies, loaded with fruit of the canes she nurtured from cuttings off her father’s plants have been known to reduce adults of seemingly endless sophistication to slobbering infants in one bite, a whole slice to cause delirium, fainting spells, reenactments of the Dancing Plague of 1518, and umpteen return pilgrimages to the dessert table.

Needless to say, my pies grovel in obeisance to Mom‘s, though she’s much too modest and generous to require such a thing. So when she’s in our vicinity for any length of time, you can guess what she bakes for my elated husband. Last time, she went the extra mile and left a spare bottom crust and dough scraps in our freezer. So the Thanksgiving pie was even more reason for giving thanks: Mama’s magical piecrust, ready-made, waiting only to be filled for the big finish.

I blind-baked that bottom crust and a sheet of cinnamon-sugared leaves I’d cut out of the dough scraps, made apple pie filling, warmed all of the parts at the last and assembled the concoction just before serving time. The man with the spare tastebuds deemed the result a little too far inclined toward the nutmeg, and I agreed: I’m always a bit unclear on how much volatile oil is still present when I grate a nutmeg–guess this one was more potent than it smelled to me. But, miraculously, the pie still managed to disappear down various gullets with some alacrity. Not to mention with many spoonfuls of homemade vanilla-cinnamon ice cream.

photoThe filling was a little of this and a little of that, as usual. I always prefer a blend of tart and sweet apples, some firmer and some tenderer, so I chose a mix of Granny Smiths, Braeburns and Golden Delicious from among the grocer’s offerings. I cut them in somewhat varied thicknesses of slice and chunks both, because I like the textural variety it brings as well as the emphasis on the distinct tastes of the types. The rest is fairly standard stuff, mostly: sweetening, spices and flavorings, fat and thickener.

My favorite thickener for apple pie filling is a bit of quick-cooking (small grain) tapioca, which again contrasts in texture with the apples to liven things up a little, and keeps the pie from collapsing when sliced. Or almost does. For sweetening apple pies, I love to use brown sugar for part or all (as in this case), because it’s no secret caramel and apples are a divine pairing and that flavor comes through in a pie nicely. A dram of vanilla to smooth out the caramel flavor. A toss of salt. A little lime juice to spark the sweetness and keep the apples’ color. A good dose of browned butter to add a little nutty undertone. And a last boost of both sweetening and zing, a spoonful of ginger preserves.

That leaves the other pie spices, and I’m pretty sure I’m relatively tame and standard with my cinnamon, nutmeg and a dash of cloves and that little bit of sweet-spicy ginger, even if I did accidentally go a little overboard with the nutmeg this time around. After all, I’m not a monster. It is my husband who asked for apple pie. And he does like his in apple pie order.

The Train Passing through by Night

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What mysterious music leads me there?

I have been yearning. It’s no one’s fault. Someone casually mentions a city I’ve visited and loved. A food I associate for its first heart-stopping recognition with a particular time and place. Friends not seen in an age plus two more ages, and miss with all my heart. And off I go. Yearning, once again, to reconnect. To plug my lonely, under-appreciated passport back in to the hot socket and rev it up for travel.

Homesick! Happier than a pig in dirt where I am, loving every minute of my today-is-today life, rejoicing in the beautiful and joyful things that make my existence such a pleasure and a fulfillment–but able on top of all that sugar-frosted wonderfulness to still feel deeply homesick for places and people who make my many other homes, both slightly and exceedingly far away. From my longing distance, I throw kisses to all . . .

To our family all around the world–tied to us two by blood, or by music, by hope and serendipity and adventure. I miss you whenever we’re apart. To those magical places called cities, countries, houses, apartments, ships, fields and forests, or convent cells, that have given us shelter and, far beyond that, a sense of home wherever we may be on this big watery hunk of rock: I miss you every day that I can’t be there. To the memories and sweetness that have arisen from so many escapades and accidents and crossings of the way, I relish even those precious sensory connections that I never would or could repeat; you, I miss you too, and my mind roams your way whenever it can.

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Above stairs, below stairs and through a million passages . . .

Beautiful are the passages in life that so stamp us with their marks as to turn up the corners of our mouths in blissful grins on every recollection. That make our eyes blur hazily in that inward stare of endlessness that can take us back at a second’s wishful impulse, taking us back on the vicarious flight to relive a bit of it.

Horrible and wonderful both, these cataclysmic catalysts that make me long, no matter how content, to rise up and run off! A fugitive passage of song, that peculiar light at the end of the hall and behind a certain door; the sound of beech leaves shivering in a breezy rain–suddenly I’m transported to the land of transportation, getting yet again that nearly irresistible urge to hit the road, the air, the sea, the rails. And while I’m not really moved to love the arguably threadbare joys of air travel in these latter days, there is one sound I love above all others that might cause this sort of travel-dreaming reverie and ache in the vicinity of the ventricles, and that is the sound of a train. Rumbling, purring, chattering. Calling out its whistle code to draw me out and wake me as it passes through the sleeping dark on the other side of the ravine to slide its way out of the present night.

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. . . and every episode leads me to the next, and the romantic, mysterious next . . .

Homecomings of All Sorts

photo + poemOver the years I’ve learned that there is a huge range of meaning in that puny little word Home.

That broad spectrum has been on my mind a lot during the last couple of weeks.

colored pencil on paperEarly this month my parents visited an apartment complex near where a couple of my sisters live, and shortly after the visit we got a phone call from Mom and Dad to let us know they’d put a deposit on an apartment and would be moving from the house they’ve lived in for a couple of solid decades plus. This wasn’t truly a stunner: it’s something we had all discussed in various ways and at various levels of intensity over the last couple of years. After all, moving was kind of on our minds. My husband and I have changed addresses four times in the last seven or eight years, thrice by short distances for more practical-seeming digs and once across the country for a change of work life. Amid those moves of ours, my mother and father-in-law got on the moving-truck bandwagon and shifted from their own many-years’ home to an apartment as well.

For us the moves were partly logic-driven (so we hope at all times!) and always emotion-driven. No regrets on any of them; they were all the right thing at the time in their own ways. I think Mom and Dad S are satisfied with their life-shift too, and I sincerely hope Mom and Dad W will find as much good in the balance as well. I know surely enough that every gain tends to be accompanied by some tradeoffs, large or small. That’s life. I just spent a few days on a dash-through with my parents to assist with part of the sorting and packing and organization and shopping and networking that their move requires. It’s little enough that I can do, but it always unearths a whole slew of things–objects and thoughts–that center on the Homely concept and how it may differ for each of us and can also change over time.

mixed media collageWhat I think of most distinctly and frequently in this whole house-related context is of course that thing I mentioned about the meanings of Home.

I’m sitting in the centerpiece of what makes Home for me right now: a very comfortable house in a nice town, and most importantly, cozily perched next to my life partner, love, best friend–my husbandly-type person. Only the tiniest bit of elementary observation necessary to see that this combination provides a goodly batch of Home definitions straight off: physical shelter; a place to centralize my daily existence; comfort and safety and a sense (however delusional) of control over my life and environment. It’s a concrete expression of my sense of how I fit in the world and the pleasures I take in it. It’s a container for my current life story and my history, both personal and in the far broader ways of culture and roots and outright humanity. That’s where I begin to veer off into that lifelong learning curve of what Home means to me.

I think of arriving on Norwegian soil for the first time when I was twenty and being overwhelmed by the sensation of being rooted, blood-connected, of holding hands with my ancestors, in a way that caught me utterly by surprise. I think of listening to my grandparents and aunts and uncles unfurling their memories over me in my childhood and youth and how those people were my Home as much as anything in those days and in turn, the way that learning those bits of family and personal history further shaped my understanding of this whole construct. I think not only of all my grandparents and great-grandparents braving new worlds to create Home in America after uprooting from Norway, to build a new self or job or family or place or all of those things.

I think of my grandfather moving his family back to his hometown in Norway when my mother and her next sister were still very small, seeking a re-creation of Home as he had known it, but ultimately finding that place didn’t fulfill the need as much as his wife and children and his suddenly faraway life did, so with his homesick young spouse in the lead, headed back to the States with their little pinafore-clad girls to restart their own Home on their own coast. And I think of my youngest sister searching out the family history’s effects on her own notion of Home and landing, of all places, in a beautiful Norwegian city where some of Grandpa’s relatives still live and where she’s now been rooted back among them for over twenty-five years.

graphite and colored pencil on paperAll of this, jumbled and tumbled together, is what makes Home for me, but the center–the linchpin and the heart of it all–is unquestionably love. Wherever it’s located, however it’s designed, whatever it might constitute in the physical world, Home is clearly all about that connection shared with what and whomever we love most. And that will probably never change for me.

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Around the World and into My Own Backyard

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There are certain ubiquitous characteristics of my life in travel . . .

I’m hitting the road, or rather, taking to the air, on Monday. It brings to mind so many aspects of my own experiences in traveling over the years.

The first, in this instance, is that my feet develop a distinctly leaden quality and my heart begins to follow them, when it comes to taking off sans Sweetie. But no one gets to travel with his or her favorite road-tripping partner every time. At the moment, this is an opportunity to join with my parents and the part of the family currently in western Washington in the adventure of getting Mom and Dad relocated from their home of many years to a new apartment in Seattle. A dramatic change in their lives–in the whole family’s lives–to be sure, and one that promises to be both physically and emotionally challenging but I expect will be at least equally exciting and fulfilling as it plays out. I wish my spouse could share in all of that, not to mention that I simply don’t like being apart. Having connected with each other a tad later in life than many, and just plain enjoying each other’s company hugely, we begrudge any time not shared. But that has to be beside the point at times, when the road calls for whatever reasons. So off I go.

Another constant in my life of travels is that the unexpected is inevitable. I hope more than I can possibly express that it doesn’t ever again include my suddenly throwing up in the middle of the metal detector arch at airport security (SORRY, O’Hare TSA workers! Really I am, I grovel at your feet! It was the flu talking!). I’m quite glad too if the unforeseen doesn’t include missed or canceled flights or lost luggage, but seeing as how I’ve survived all of the foregoing, I will grit my teeth and go along through to get to the good stuff on the other side. There are unexpected gifts and heaps of happiness that come with being out of my usual groove, too. Shared laughter with strangers that turns into a mile-spanning, long-lived friendship. Directions to the wrong place, but one that turns out to be far more interesting and memorable than the intended one. A grim-looking last-chance eatery where the food is miraculously fabulous and the proprietors simply underfunded gastronomic gods. The out-of-the-way garden, happened upon in a blasting rainstorm, that offers a tree so massive and dense in its canopy that everyone escapes the blast under it in warm and dry conviviality.

The monotype illustration above is from a series I made on returning from my very first trip abroad, where my older sister and I spent over three months exploring from England to Norway and back, visiting nearly a dozen countries in between, and there I learned for the first time that there are certain rhythms and patterns to this travel thing. We developed a set of Rules to explain our experience, including the one illustrated here, that All winter trains run on time except the one you are about to board, which arrives just shortly after you have become one with the permafrost (or something to that effect). There were definitions of what to expect from technology (The handrail of an escalator is always set to move at a rate just enough higher than the rate of the steps that if you keep your hand on the rail, by the time you reach the top of the escalator you will be lying face down in a pile of chewed gum), from museums (All museums shall be free of charge and open seven days a week, except the one you most want to visit, which costs the equivalent of six college credits and is open only during a full lunar eclipse), and from bag stowing systems (The overhead racks on trains are designed to fit bags no larger than four bars of soap placed side by side, and may be constructed of silly putty and yarn).

But we also saw that grand benevolent side of what happens when you venture outside of your personal castle. There were relatives and family friends who knew us only through our parents and perhaps a contact or two along the years but willingly took us in and gave us the full visiting-royalty treatment when we’d hoped at most for a chance to meet over coffee. A pâtissier whose exquisite goods suddenly went on sale when he learned that we had come into the country overnight, arriving on the weekend when we had no access to a bank for currency exchange, and were a couple of pitiful looking famished students. The driver of the night’s last bus to town from a ferry crossing, who delivered the handful of after-hours stragglers on board each to our individual destination instead of wherever his route should land us.

I have seen so much more of this side of travel in the years since than that grubbier and less inviting one, that I can’t help having a little buzz of anticipation at any trip, even the seemingly predictable one of heading toward family and to my own old stomping grounds. I know that unexpected pleasures await. That undeserved happiness is always in store. I am going to see people and places I’ve known since birth, but every time I see them with new eyes because the earth has turned just so much, the calendar pages pulling me, us, them all forward into some new configuration. If I’m looking for the exotic, a fresh new hour means that everyone and everything in it have been in some way made different and what I find when we meet up is bound to be in that way a wonderful revelation of joy and surprise.

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Another rule of travel: if I look for it, every journey offers something wonderful and new . . .

Grandpa had a Cabin…

The capacity for joy can be learned, I’ve seen, through dedicated and deliberate effort. I, however, was trained up in it the easy way. It was inculcated by immersion from birth in an atmosphere of kindhearted comfort seasoned with large healthy doses of shameless tomfoolery. It was a pervasive and soul-deep thing as well as an attitudinal election year ’round, but in my clan, was also enhanced by something akin to Happiness Boot Camp, in summertime especially. Because Grandpa had a cabin.

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At the mossy feet of the evergreens . . .

Gramps was a carpenter, a fisherman, and an old-fashioned Norwegian immigrant with great love for simplicity and the outdoors; of course he would build a cabin. Despite a part of him that was a devoted hermit, he had at the same time surprising powers for subjugating that tendency. This started, no doubt, with his surviving those greenhorn immigrant days out east with a great boost of prankish help from his good-naturedly nutty roommates–and from there it escalated to marriage, six kids, and a flurry of grandkids following that, and culminated in this would-be hermitage of his in the woods being co-opted at intervals by invading gangs of laughing, larking relatives.

By the time of the family cabin follies, Gramps and Granny and their tribe had long since moved out to the west coast, settling north of Seattle, an area having comforting commonalities with Grandpa’s home turf in southern Norway. It lent itself neatly to cabin crafting. Gramps built his modest A-frame in the fir, cedar and alder-rich woods along the Skykomish River, establishing in the act a one-building family compound tailor-made for training up growing grandkids in the arts of relaxed rusticity and genuine jollity. Grandpa had a cabin, and there we all got lively lessons in love.

Sometimes the love was more focused on its patience component than a bunch of wriggly kids might accept readily. After all, being in western Washington, time spent at the cabin could easily be bathed in torrents of gloomy rain that held the thrills of outdoor play in abeyance for unpredictable stretches of time. Then all of the adults penned in with us had to teach us various diversions for passing the time of our indoor captivity. The worst test of patience was with the “facilities,” for although the cabin had electricity and running water from early on, those were dedicated first of all to the kitchen, so for some years we all had to use the outhouse when in need. I, for one, dreaded even the traipse through the slug-infested wet grass and the dewy clamminess of a deeply shaded summer morning there, let alone the dark emanations of the dank two-holer.

But inside the cabin, all was snugness and warmth. The wiring gave us both light and baseboard heat, and the beautiful old iron wood stove amplified both with a crackling belly when well fed. We, in turn, were well fed and began our sous chef training under Granny and the moms and aunts, learning to pitch in with anything from goulash to fish head soup or more ordinary summer picnic classics. When the dads and uncles were on duty they taught us the outdoor chef’s arts of grilling burgers and dogs or, when Gramps had led any fishing expeditions, cooking up a handsome meal of cutthroat or salmon on the barbecue. If the rain tried to intervene, why then the grill got pulled under the porch roof overhang or into the carport/boat shed, and the stewing and brewing continued merrily in the kitchen while non-conscripts evaded cooking duties by reading, playing board and card games, drawing, and piling up toys with the youngest cousins, up where the toy stash was kept in the sleeping loft’s side attic. Sometimes it was entertainment enough just to joke around and be silly with the rest of the cousins up there where it was set up like a low bunkhouse, single beds lined up under the peak of the A-frame and covered with old cowboy-decorated sleeping bags and scratchy army blankets. When things got a little too rowdy, the downstairs grownups could always shout us over to the loft railing and give a little warning to back down the decibels a little.

Now, this is only a little of the indoor fun to be had when we weren’t all tucked in for the night and listening to Gramps’s magnificent snores shaking the cabin from foundation to peak. Probably the best of all were those rare nights when he Got In A Mood and entertained the youthful crew with a glimpse of a grandpa they otherwise never knew existed. In everyday life, you see, while he was generally very kind and patient and willing to teach us how to bait a fishhook or mend the roof shingles or row his little rowboat, he also had a little bit of what all children see as inscrutably proper grown-upness and so wasn’t as likely as our parents or even Granny to crawl under the furniture and make ridiculous faces and do other really overtly silly things. Except when he got that rare itch.

Only a few times do I remember Gramps clowning outrageously, so when he did we all took notice and it was a wild party indeed. He might grab a comb from one of the kids and tease his tonsure straight up into a perfect circus performer’s hairdo, laughing like a loon, and then out would come a secret stash of old tin toys that did mechanical tricks. Or a harmonica, a simple squeezebox-style accordion, a fiddle–none of which any of us shrimps had the remotest idea he could even identify, let alone play–and then he’d play a lively folk tune or two. Meanwhile, of course, after all of us kids had pulled our jaws off the floor, we got in on the loopy laughter, sang along with tunes we didn’t know, made Gramps’s and anyone else’s hair into wilder and bigger cartoon hairstyles, and whipped ourselves into hysteria until I’m sure that the nearest neighbors in their fishing cabins were cowering under their beds, certain they were under a Cold War attack.

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He didn’t fiddle around often, but when he did . . .

Those were probably the only nights at Grandpa’s cabin that we didn’t all lie awake ’til all hours whispering and giggling or trying to synchronize sleep between his bellowing snores, because he completely wore us out with laughing. There were many participants, and Granny and all of her children made plenty of contributions to the entertainment, not all that much more genteel than those nights–but after all, it was his place, and at that place some strange and wonderful things occurred that could only have happened there.

I haven’t even begun to tell you of the beauty of that spot and its true out-of-doors pleasures, the way that the air around there always smelled of blackberries since the vines grew more wildly and fiercely than Sleeping Beauty‘s formidable brambly defenses and there were always wet blackberry leaves fluttering all around us, then the sweetness of the lavender-white blossoms, and then the fat, juicy berries bursting with their purple inky wine. I haven’t let you in on the secrets of the surrounding tree-thick roads, the empty lot that Grandpa finally bought and filled with a grand vegetable patch, the abandoned neighboring cabin we cousins “remodeled” in the woods. Or the glorious river, cold as icicles in midsummer, rocky, glittering, and full of secret delights. All of those things and more were part of our learning how to have a joy-filled life, and all because our Grandpa had a cabin.

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Is there any more magical place?