Foodie Tuesday: Birthday Dessert (and Boy, Wouldn’t This Taste Great with Some Chocolate Ice Cream!)

He’s a wacky fella, my dad. One of his finest features has always been his excellent and distinctive sense of humor, and there was never any question that having a father who’s delightfully silly is one of the finest advantages a kid could have in her upbringing. No surprise that, with Mom being the sort of hospitality genius that everyone loves and Dad providing much of the comic relief in that hospitable package, our household was always a popular place among the friends and classmates of all of their children. Both were also compassionate and reasonable and practical parents, and I don’t have to tell you what a rarity that is in general, so our home was a kind of hangout-central among the school-kid cognoscenti.

Since today is the anniversary of the birth of that Hardest Working Dad in Showbiz, I am drawn to reminisce on the many years of service that my father has given as the resident chief goofus in our family.photoThat in itself is gift enough, but his life of service has always been so much broader and deeper than mere lightheartedness. As a pastor, as Chairman of the Board of Regents for a university, as bishop, and as president of a hospital board, among many other roles he’s filled in his life’s work, Dad has never taken his labors lightly, even when the best tool he had for doing any or all of these jobs may have most often been the humor he brought to the table. He’s just never been one for sitting around and letting the world rush on around him.

photoI wish I could say that I inherited a tenth of his sense of humor, let alone a hundredth of his ambition and work ethic. Instead, I guess I should thank him once again on his birthday for not only being a dandy dad but also helping to fill the requirements of the universe in these services where I may have left some gaping gaps. So thanks, Dad, from the bottom of my full heart, and may you have not only a very happy birthday but all the warmth and laughter that can be wrung out of many more years. Oh, and cake. And, since you clearly are your father’s son when it comes to all of the characteristics noted above and we all know Grandpa would have felt the cake was best completed with some, have your cake with a couple of sizable scoops of chocolate ice cream.

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Okay, this one’s not ice cream, but it’s chocolate dessert and it’s homemade. And it tastes pretty great, if you ask me. (1 ripe avocado, 1 ripe banana, 1 heaping tablespoon of cocoa, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, a pinch of salt, and honey to taste, all blended together until the pudding is smooth.)

Natural Antipathies

digital imageFrenemies

When cat and dog and sheep and goat, yea, fox and hen and hog and stoat

Befriend each other, work and play like boon companions, night and day,

It’s time to question if the world as we have known it is unfurled,

Unraveled, undefined, undone–if we should pack our bags and run–

For such behavior’s a disgrace and flies in Mother Nature’s face.

So, be alert! The fox and hen, sheep and the goats, like gods and men,

Belong apart; the stoat and hog must not be friends, nor cat and dog.graphite drawing

Trouble in Texas

photoDangers Just out of View

Do not pursue the missing sock,

The partner to your single shoe;

Though losing either one may rock

Your sense of balance, don’t pursue,

Unduly, missing treasures: wide

Their unwed wanderings may flee,

And you might quite unsettled be

To see on capture what’s inside.

Remember as you, hunting, run,

That warmth and dark like boot or sock

Is favored as a sun-baked rock

By spider, snake or scorpion.photo

Uniquely Me

graphite drawingBe Not Ill at Ease

Around my sprockets and my spleen lurk what no doctor’s ever seen,

a plethora of arcane ills impossible to treat with pills

or pessaries, with tinctures, teas, or magic potions for disease–

not curable by overhaul of engine, tune-up, electrol-

ysis, electric shock–it’s thought by some I will infect them; not

true, though, for what seems to be feared is not contagious–

I’m just weird.

Question: What are Saturdays?

My answer: Saturdays are for both horsing around and embracing my dogged pursuits. Laziness and productivity. Rambling and re-energizing. Drawing on my strengths and, well, just drawing.

graphite drawing

Some of Saturday should be for just horsing around . . .

So I’ll try to get a few useful things done (chores: Check! exercise: Check! planning for the week ahead: Checkmate!) and I’ll also relax and indulge in those forays into the fantastic that make all of the useful things possible. What is Saturday to you?

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. . . and some should be for showing my dogged devotion.

 

Hot Flash Fiction 3

graphite drawingA Menopausal Mini-Mystery

‘OutRRRRRageous!’ she purred, ‘I’m only a lady who has fallen prey to the sentimental desires of A Certain Age to visit my old acquaintance!’ Still, her counter-suit of police Profiling would have been more plausible if she hadn’t been spotted in that location and in such a compromising position. The acquaintance in question, quivering in the doorway behind Madame De Léopard, was still squeaking with shrill accusation as the neighbors began to gather and fling catty remarks back and forth like batted feather lures. When the arresting officer demanded a sobriety test and detected that an illegal quantity of West Country Farmhouse Cheddar had been dabbed behind the lady’s ears, pandemonium erupted and many of the surrounding crowd were convinced that there was a far more nefarious explanation for her appearance on the scene than middle-aged maundering.

Sailing the Saline

Aye, Aieeeee!

When he was young he was swayed by the sea,

and he strayed by the sea and stayed by the sea–

his spirit was formed and was made by the sea–

he was in it up to his neck!photo

He knew he would have to succumb to the sea,

to come to the sea and bring some to the sea–

(of his very best valor–and rum–to the sea)–

he looked forward to it like heck!photo

And when he was older he reigned on the sea;

he was trained on the sea and remained on the sea–

until his affections grew strained on the sea–

that’s when the real Poop hit the Deck!

Arachnophobe Alert!

I have, however belatedly, realized that I should probably come with a personal warning-label. Perhaps a flashing light on the top of my head, or a large Hazmat sort of logo emblazoned on my forehead in neon colors, or a nice blaring air horn that goes off intermittently and scares the socks off of everyone within a two-mile radius. Or some combination of these. In particular, it should ward off any unwary spider-haters from my vicinity, for their safety and sanity are of such importance to me.

You see, I have always recognized that my head is full of cobwebs. Dust bunnies, too, perhaps, but clearly those are less dangerous than cobwebs, which of course bespeak the presence of web makers, i.e., spiders. It never occurred to me before that I was putting the health and happiness of arachnophobes so at risk–in addition to any threats to vitality and salubrious sentience that might be inherent in my mere personality, that is. I am heartily sorry for this oversight. Now, consider yourselves warned. And yes, close your eyes as you skim past the photos.photo

As it is, the whole of the idea was brought bubbling to the surface from my murky depths by the difficulty I’m having waking up today. I could blame it on jet lag, on overcast skies, on increasing age and so many other possible causes. But if I am to be fully honest and transparent about this whole thing, I do have to admit that the cobwebs and spider-friendly environment existed long, long before any such influences were at work. The cavern of my skull may well have been arachnophilic to this extreme from sometime around when I spoke my first words–and indeed, that would explain a great many of my thoughts, blurts and actions in the ensuing years. It might also be instructive as to why I find actual spiders and their artistry rather charming and attractive, but that could simply reflect other aspects of my oddity and have arrived on its own.

In any case, here I sit, well after the noon hour on a day that ought by all rights to be a productive and purposeful one (and undoubtedly is, for saner and more useful persons), still trying to emerge from the glutinous bonds of cobwebbery and hoping that nothing catches fire until I do. I beg your patience. At least the spiders in the neighborhood will stick around to keep me company.photo

 

Pardon Me While I Gather Some Wool

I’ve already admitted to what I’m certain can have come as no surprise to you: that I was frequently in trouble during my school days for spending my attentions on observing things outside the window, counting the holes in the acoustic ceiling tiles, or mentally redesigning the architecture of the building rather than focusing on the requisite elements of discussion (I was too shy to speak up anyway, so what was I going to contribute there?) or question-answering (when I didn’t already have the entire assignment complete to my satisfaction I was the last one willing to offer a participatory guess anyhow), or perhaps at least getting some more study and writing done. That last was, of course, what I thought I was doing quite efficiently while I was apparently staring off into the ether, but the parallel actions I performed of contemplating Other Things were clearly not obvious ways of meeting class requirements, at least to my teachers and fellow students.

All I can say in response to this is that (a) I have managed to live a remarkably happy life and get a few useful things done along the way despite these obvious shortcomings of mine and (b) conformity is highly overrated. Oh, and (c): thanks to my wilfulness, I did get to grow up (relatively speaking, anyway) and follow a ‘career’ path that takes full advantage of–even encourages–such Frivolity as woolgathering, lollygagging and other highly refined forms of daydreaming. I’m an artist, y’all. So you will just have to sit by and suck it up when I choose to so use and/or abuse my time on a continuing basis. I take the liberty of assuming that if you’ve shown up here, and especially, if you’ve come by and still bother to return after seeing what I’m doing (or not doing), then you evidently either condone or at least tolerate such shenanigans on my part.

In that spirit, I’ll hand over, if not my actual homework for the day, a doodle of some other fanciful daydreamer, and we’ll call it good. Or good enough! And I wish you all, in turn, the freedom and ample opportunities to live in your own little fantasy worlds too, and if it suits you, to produce nothing more pertinent than whatever odd little items appear as evidence of these flighty fun activities of yours. Because I’m here to tell you, it’s a mighty fine way to have a life, even if it doesn’t make you a living.

Cheers!graphite drawing

Hot Flash Fiction 2

digital artwork from a photo

Though bleary, psychedelic and portentous dreams had haunted him into a knot by daylight it was neither dark nor stormy that morning. Tarryble Slye was in such a grim and grimy mood when he finally wrestled awake that he decided not to get out of bed until it was darker, for his business with Methden Gartinen was ugly enough to require at the very least a whiff of midnight, better yet a night gripped by a walloping storm. Whether the requisite pelting of rain and blasts of lightning came or not, Slye was determined to drag himself out of bed as late as he possibly could, and put off tonight’s assigned meeting as late as he could get away with it too. That rat Gartinen had made the whole thing sound as innocuous as he could and even offered to pick up the dinner tab beforehand, but there was no mistaking that once he was out of bed Slye was going to be sorely sorry he’d ever crawled out at all. He was already sorry he’d committed to showing up, and backing out of it wasn’t an option; maybe he ought to accept the proffered payoff: a paper-wrapped catch of fish and chips was probably the best thing he could hope to get out of this lousy, evil-tinged day.

Man, how he hated doing taxes.

digital artwork from a photo